One hard thing I have is this whole “joy” word. It seems a pretty powerful word to use as a standard. The stuff that’s difficult to decide are things I like, or kinda-sorta-nice. After all, there are plenty of items that are necessary that don’t exactly spark joy. They can be appreciated, but not necessarily adored. Tools, like a hammer, wrench, or plunger. Unless you have a strong affinity for tools, I doubt these are most people’s favorites. But they’re good to have on hand, and you don’t simply get rid of them because they don’t majestically uplift your soul when you touch them (ew on the plunger). I have Seasonal Affective Disorder and a couple of therapy lamps that I don’t love. Sometimes they seem to bring and obnoxious, but I know if I don’t use them, I will regret it. By no means do they “spark joy.”
Then there’s the other issue I have with overexposure to a single object. I love photography, but admit if I have the same picture hanging in the same place for too long, I start to zone out and not really see and appreciate it. That’s why I love calendars: they are relatively cheap art that doesn’t take up much space, and can be changed after a while (even if the photo is one I’ve saved from several years ago). So some of these things that I like, I want to cling to because I wonder if I will need to mix things up once in a while to re-kindle any joy or facsimile thereof. I have lots of different colored pens to mix things up too. I can’t see surviving on only blue and black. Sometimes I’m in the mood for purple, sometimes green or gold. But that’s another story.
I keep cups and plates because there isn’t anything wrong with them. I’m not going to chuck them because they don’t “spark joy” for the excuse that I’ll have to go buy new ones that do. Ideally, sure, when they need to be replaced, I could put a little more thought into aesthetic and durability. But for now, some things that are still useable or durable enough don’t have to spark joy in order to serve us well. I can appreciate the plain dinner plates that are thin enough to fit well in the cupboard and not take up as much space as other varieties.
And there’s “stuff” that just falls in between. The extreme winners and losers are easy to decide – don’t want to hang on to, and don’t you dare take that away. But what about the gradations inbetween? What if it strikes a 6 or 7 on your joy scale? It seems comfortably above average, it’s pleasant enough, it certainly hasn’t failed or offended in any way. It’s not a “just in case” but more of a “why get rid of it?” “What’s wrong with it?” kind of thing. I’m sure those are things Kondo would say to get rid of since they aren’t obvious keepers. I appreciate the leniency my husband has given me in hemming and hawing over things like that. Really, things that have been more of a 4 or 5, but subconsciously I probably feel guilty about getting rid of. I don’t know. Maybe it means admitting I was stupid to get it in the first place, or that I’m being too snooty by saying it’s not good enough to overwhelm with joy.
To my credit, coming from parents who are complete hoarders, I’ve made a little bit of progress. Back in November, I’d give my husband the puppy-eyes to keep something iffy, and I could sometimes let it go a couple hours or a couple of days later. I really appreciate how he allowed me to let it go, vs. feeling obligated or guilty. That makes a huge difference to me. I’m not saying I let go of everything, but to me, I noticed quite a few things I did part with that I normally would have put my foot down on, and never looked at again. At least I’d set it aside, keep looking at it off and on, and eventually admit it wasn’t something that needed to stay. I’m not blaming it on my parents, but we tend to follow or at least drift towards what is familiar. My mother currently lives alone in a 5 bedroom house with several other non-bedroom rooms like entry room, living room, family room, library, 3 basement rooms, and it is difficult to get through some of those rooms without knocking things over. Given that’s what I was raised by, I’m trying to improve.
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