Officially losing sleep and stressing. My stomach is also having issues, but that could be related to the prescription they gave me for the knee/leg swelling. The good news on that front is it seems to be helping. Only taking it a few days, so fingers crossed settles things down and helps long term.
I'm dismayed at the emotional eating I committed today. Granted, the food I ate was significantly more healthy than usual, but that’s still bad behavior. Reinforcing bad old habits. Surgery is going to make me not want to be very active and also mess with my metabolism, so I shouldn’t be screwing around. For all I know the “good” news is that I lost all this weight so I won’t be so far gone when a lot of it comes back. Not a very pleasant prospect.
One should forgive themselves and move on, but I feel stuck because idk how to manage stress better. You can say one incident isn’t the end of the world, but I would refer you to the lunch I had with my mother last fall. I swear it precipitated an avalanche of poor eating that cost me 15 pounds. I blame the situation and my lack of coping skills; not my mother.
On a humorous note, I thought ok, I have to drink a ton of water the day before surgery, and have to get up at 4 am to drink more and take pre-op meds. I thought hey, maybe it won’t be that harmful if I stay up half the night because I’ll be peeing anyway and then by morning I’ll be too exhausted to worry much more. The pre-op instructions say to have a good night’s sleep. No one’s perfect. Come on, people, you can ask, but you can’t have everything.
I normally acknowledge that meditation isn’t a skill that can effectively be crammed, like studying for exams. But at this point, I don’t see the harm in seeing how many meditations I can do for the next week. Why not. I've got a couple meditation apps and might as well get good use out of them.
Thursday, April 25, 2024
Friday, April 19, 2024
More Medical Headaches
I tried not to dwell on this, but it’s bugging me, so I thought I’d vent and try to get it out of my system.
Went in for more imaging yesterday; pro-actively checking for any miniscule indications of cancer or pre-cancerous changes. Already had an MRI, and they said xrays and ultrasound were also warranted, as they all have different strengths and could potentially pick up different details. Fine, no need to convince me. We make arrangements for both me and my spouse to get off work early (1 car), go one city over, way across on the other side. Kind of a pain, but this is important. They do the xray, then say the doctor there says the ultrasound wasn’t needed. Uhm, ok, not trying to argue with you, but can you write up something to my docs about that to explain that? They said there weren’t findings on a previous ultrasound, so there was nothing to look for. I was tired, hungry, headache, and honestly not arguing, but I did politely ask if they were writing up an analysis if the xray images, could they add a note why the ultrasound wasn’t needed so that would be clearly communicated to my docs. They said no repeatedly. I went home.
The thing is, I had to call hospital scheduling 3 times just to get this. The first two times, they also said, no, all three images seem ridiculous, you need to check with your doctor to confirm. They usually only want one. When I checked back with them, they were all, yes, we know what we asked for, and we meant it. I went home, pulled up the previous e-mail, where two different providers said yes, we absolutely want all three done. I’m not so paranoid that I think there is cancer and it’s being missed, but I really don’t want to feel like I’m getting scolded by them again saying hey, we told you to get all three. This was not a scheduler, but the MD in charge, and he repeatedly said no. Usually I’m the one who throws a fit, so I tried not to. I just said fine, please add a note to my chart so it’s passed along to the ones who requested the ultrasound. I was going to get his name, but in my stupidity, I forgot. I’m an idiot. Either way, though it should not be this much of a pain. You think my providers are idiots, fine, roll your eyes, try to talk me out of it by saying I was randomly told I’m in a high risk category with finger quotes and let me make a choice. Write a letter to the Department of Insurance and say you think my docs are nuts and ordering un-needed tests and suggest they be instigated. But don’t outright refuse services. I mean, come on. They already made me feel bad enough and implied my doctors are idiots randomly assigning me a high-risk label and I’m a sucker for believing them. But let me get what I came there for and go on my way. I should have been able to get all 3 images done at the same time, but since they refused to scheduled them all at first, I had to do 2 different trips so far. You’d think this isn’t a big deal except that with all the appointments I’ve had for this and pre-op, my foot and my opposite leg/knee, it adds up. If my doctors re-evaluate and say ooops, yeah, we didn’t really need the ultrasound, fine. But if the push back, that’s going to make me really irritated. That’s what I’m dreading at this point.
Oh well. 13 days until surgery.
Went in for more imaging yesterday; pro-actively checking for any miniscule indications of cancer or pre-cancerous changes. Already had an MRI, and they said xrays and ultrasound were also warranted, as they all have different strengths and could potentially pick up different details. Fine, no need to convince me. We make arrangements for both me and my spouse to get off work early (1 car), go one city over, way across on the other side. Kind of a pain, but this is important. They do the xray, then say the doctor there says the ultrasound wasn’t needed. Uhm, ok, not trying to argue with you, but can you write up something to my docs about that to explain that? They said there weren’t findings on a previous ultrasound, so there was nothing to look for. I was tired, hungry, headache, and honestly not arguing, but I did politely ask if they were writing up an analysis if the xray images, could they add a note why the ultrasound wasn’t needed so that would be clearly communicated to my docs. They said no repeatedly. I went home.
The thing is, I had to call hospital scheduling 3 times just to get this. The first two times, they also said, no, all three images seem ridiculous, you need to check with your doctor to confirm. They usually only want one. When I checked back with them, they were all, yes, we know what we asked for, and we meant it. I went home, pulled up the previous e-mail, where two different providers said yes, we absolutely want all three done. I’m not so paranoid that I think there is cancer and it’s being missed, but I really don’t want to feel like I’m getting scolded by them again saying hey, we told you to get all three. This was not a scheduler, but the MD in charge, and he repeatedly said no. Usually I’m the one who throws a fit, so I tried not to. I just said fine, please add a note to my chart so it’s passed along to the ones who requested the ultrasound. I was going to get his name, but in my stupidity, I forgot. I’m an idiot. Either way, though it should not be this much of a pain. You think my providers are idiots, fine, roll your eyes, try to talk me out of it by saying I was randomly told I’m in a high risk category with finger quotes and let me make a choice. Write a letter to the Department of Insurance and say you think my docs are nuts and ordering un-needed tests and suggest they be instigated. But don’t outright refuse services. I mean, come on. They already made me feel bad enough and implied my doctors are idiots randomly assigning me a high-risk label and I’m a sucker for believing them. But let me get what I came there for and go on my way. I should have been able to get all 3 images done at the same time, but since they refused to scheduled them all at first, I had to do 2 different trips so far. You’d think this isn’t a big deal except that with all the appointments I’ve had for this and pre-op, my foot and my opposite leg/knee, it adds up. If my doctors re-evaluate and say ooops, yeah, we didn’t really need the ultrasound, fine. But if the push back, that’s going to make me really irritated. That’s what I’m dreading at this point.
Oh well. 13 days until surgery.
Wednesday, April 17, 2024
Non Scale Victory (NSV)
NSV for the day/month/whatever. Need to officially retire one pair of pants. I have stretchy waists, and thought hey, get as much use out of them as I can, right? If I have my phone in the pocket, I cannot keep them up anymore - within seconds the band pulls a few inches down. Kind of embarassing, but I guess it's a good thing.
2 weeks until surgery. Or feels like it when the current day is over, and I'm scheduled o-dark-thirty the day of.
2 weeks until surgery. Or feels like it when the current day is over, and I'm scheduled o-dark-thirty the day of.
Sunday, April 14, 2024
Silly Fitness Trackers
Ah, fitness trackers. Yes, I caved and got one. I’m not promoting mine or any tracker, but will admit I got a Fitbit Inspire 3, only so anyone reading can have that information in case they think “well MY tracker doesn’t do that.” Good for you.
Fitness trackers are glorified pedometers at best. Mine does not report sleep, oxygen level, or any of the other bells and whistles it is supposed to. I didn’t get it for that, so it’s not that disappointing, only irritating. The couple of times I attempted the “meditation” options it didn’t track to give me credit for it and my pulse actually went up 10 beats per minute. Like I said, glorified pedometer.
Why did I succumb to buying one instead of a basic pedometer? That could be separate blog post or mini-series in itself. Suffice it to say pedometers that clip don’t work well for me, and I wanted a wrist version. I wanted to count up the “steps” and make progress increasing activity. Flapping my arms around like an air traffic controller is not the same as walking, but it is my current form of exercise due to my swollen leg. I wanted to count all the walking and arm flapping I did all day, even if it was in little bity chunks, and try to be motivated to make the total number grow larger. Even with the upcoming surgery, getting credit for miniscule walking or movement might be encouraging rather than thinking I’m never doing enough.
Now we get to the saga and my point. Previous to having the tracker, I would do various youtube videos and mark down on a calendar how many minutes I spent. I attempted to track several things on my calendar, including meditation, water, caffeine, fruits and vegetable servings, and so forth. I gradually increased activity minutes, so yay for that, but by March my overall enthusiasm for doing and tracking everything was waning.
Enter the tracker. I was pleasantly surprised (if not confused) that it counted moderate activity I had not considered might count, such as walking at work, like the longish trecks to get water. Yay. Plus it added it automatically, so I didn’t have to time it. it reports that I “exercised” if I get my heart rate into the moderate zone for 10 minutes or longer. It had a goal to exercise 5 days a week and I left it at that, even though I’m kind of a perfectionist and would aim to do at least something every day. Here’s where it gets complicated – do I count what I think is exercise, or try to please the silly Fitbit? Today I did some smaller exercises here and there while watching tv with my spouse, and was pleased to get 19 total “zone” minutes before attempting any official exercise. Then I sat down for my videos. I did 15 minutes of strength training, but it didn’t get my heart rate hardly up at all even though I was huffing and sweating. Oh well. That’s fine. I followed it up with a 10 minute cardio workout video. Upon completion, it only added 2 "zone" minutes, and still defiantly told me I had not exercised. Hence the question – which is more important – setting my own goals or that of my silly digital tracker? I can go back to my manual calendar. Just silly
Fitness trackers are glorified pedometers at best. Mine does not report sleep, oxygen level, or any of the other bells and whistles it is supposed to. I didn’t get it for that, so it’s not that disappointing, only irritating. The couple of times I attempted the “meditation” options it didn’t track to give me credit for it and my pulse actually went up 10 beats per minute. Like I said, glorified pedometer.
Why did I succumb to buying one instead of a basic pedometer? That could be separate blog post or mini-series in itself. Suffice it to say pedometers that clip don’t work well for me, and I wanted a wrist version. I wanted to count up the “steps” and make progress increasing activity. Flapping my arms around like an air traffic controller is not the same as walking, but it is my current form of exercise due to my swollen leg. I wanted to count all the walking and arm flapping I did all day, even if it was in little bity chunks, and try to be motivated to make the total number grow larger. Even with the upcoming surgery, getting credit for miniscule walking or movement might be encouraging rather than thinking I’m never doing enough.
Now we get to the saga and my point. Previous to having the tracker, I would do various youtube videos and mark down on a calendar how many minutes I spent. I attempted to track several things on my calendar, including meditation, water, caffeine, fruits and vegetable servings, and so forth. I gradually increased activity minutes, so yay for that, but by March my overall enthusiasm for doing and tracking everything was waning.
Enter the tracker. I was pleasantly surprised (if not confused) that it counted moderate activity I had not considered might count, such as walking at work, like the longish trecks to get water. Yay. Plus it added it automatically, so I didn’t have to time it. it reports that I “exercised” if I get my heart rate into the moderate zone for 10 minutes or longer. It had a goal to exercise 5 days a week and I left it at that, even though I’m kind of a perfectionist and would aim to do at least something every day. Here’s where it gets complicated – do I count what I think is exercise, or try to please the silly Fitbit? Today I did some smaller exercises here and there while watching tv with my spouse, and was pleased to get 19 total “zone” minutes before attempting any official exercise. Then I sat down for my videos. I did 15 minutes of strength training, but it didn’t get my heart rate hardly up at all even though I was huffing and sweating. Oh well. That’s fine. I followed it up with a 10 minute cardio workout video. Upon completion, it only added 2 "zone" minutes, and still defiantly told me I had not exercised. Hence the question – which is more important – setting my own goals or that of my silly digital tracker? I can go back to my manual calendar. Just silly
Saturday, April 13, 2024
10% and Crocs
Finally lost 10% of my total body weight since I started late December. I was happy excited for a few hours, then ho hum. Part of me is paranoid if I’m not super careful, the scale will tip back up just over that milestone. Though I’m taking my weight with shoes, and they weigh a little over a pound, so that’s a tiny buffer. Still I guess it’s something. I can’t tell anyone who knows me in real life since they wouldn’t believe it. Thus I'm posting here.
Part of me still wonders when all this regular uplifting goodness comes from being more active and eating so much better. The only salt I’m having is from occasionl processed foods, like salsa or the spoon of sauce I had on my steamed veggies the other day. My leg is still ridiculously large, so that didn’t seem to help yet, if it would at all.
in other exciting news, after 9 weeks of constantly wearing super cushy Hoka Clifton 9 shoes and arch support inserts (sold separately), the podiatrist said I could gradually start wearing Crocs a few minutes a day and build up. They’re more supportive than sandals, he claims. Need to work down before barefoot, and who knows if I can ever go barefoot again. I have no idea about any other supposed arch support imitation brands, but the doc said Crocs, so Crocs it is. With all the effort and money I’ve already spent on my foot, I’m not going to risk going generic.
19 days until surgery.
Part of me still wonders when all this regular uplifting goodness comes from being more active and eating so much better. The only salt I’m having is from occasionl processed foods, like salsa or the spoon of sauce I had on my steamed veggies the other day. My leg is still ridiculously large, so that didn’t seem to help yet, if it would at all.
in other exciting news, after 9 weeks of constantly wearing super cushy Hoka Clifton 9 shoes and arch support inserts (sold separately), the podiatrist said I could gradually start wearing Crocs a few minutes a day and build up. They’re more supportive than sandals, he claims. Need to work down before barefoot, and who knows if I can ever go barefoot again. I have no idea about any other supposed arch support imitation brands, but the doc said Crocs, so Crocs it is. With all the effort and money I’ve already spent on my foot, I’m not going to risk going generic.
19 days until surgery.
Monday, April 8, 2024
24 Days Until Surgery
24 days until major surgery. Anxiety is beginning to peak, even though I know it’s the correct course of action. It's the whole thing where it’s “starting to get real.” I submitted paperwork to take time off work, and watched a couple youtube videos, trying to have the mindset that they’re not 100% accurate. Still good to attempt to be informed or prepared, or know what questions to ask in my pre-op appointment.
I’ve been losing pretty slowly lately, or minimal up and down more than I’d like. After surgery will not be a fun time to try to be too active, though walking is usually good for everything. I am still waiting for an appointment with a semi-specialist to discuss the swelling in my leg, which is now over 11 cm larger in circumference than then other leg. They said anything over 3 cm is of great concern. Well duh, that’s why I tried to tell the previous ones. Anyway, my knee is finally enlarged and gets hot and painful when walking, so that’s not fun when post-op instructions are to walk as much as possible. I could schedule an appointment with my rheumatologist, but thought I’d start with this semi-specialist sports medicine doctor first. Besides the rheumatologist is usually booked out 6 months.
Meanwhile it’s fun trying to explain to my spouse why I may not be in the best frame of mind to watch surgery shows. Maybe some people wouldn’t care, and that’s great for them. We recently watched an episode of Gray’s Anatomy where they said how sick and disgusting it was that a person had let themselves go for so long. While technically referring to the medical condition, the same is likely all to apt for comments about overweight patients as well. I think they figure why help someone who obviously doesn’t care about their own health, and they must not care at all about their health if they’re overweight. Funny how I wonder if they say the same thing for people who drink too much or take drugs. Probably, yet I kind of think it’s more visually obvious of those who are overweight, and thus the overwhelming attitude is who cares about doing one’s best to help that kind of person. Yeah, I know it’s true, and maybe what I need to hear for more motivation, but it’s not the most fun thing to hear either.
Listened to a meditation the other day that theorized people are motivated by one of the following things: fear/avoidance, wanting something, duty, or love. The first two are negative ways to be motivated, the latter two are more positive. I’m not entirely sure how to be motivated to lose weight out of duty. Not saying this motivation theory is wrong; just not sure what to make of it.
I’ve been losing pretty slowly lately, or minimal up and down more than I’d like. After surgery will not be a fun time to try to be too active, though walking is usually good for everything. I am still waiting for an appointment with a semi-specialist to discuss the swelling in my leg, which is now over 11 cm larger in circumference than then other leg. They said anything over 3 cm is of great concern. Well duh, that’s why I tried to tell the previous ones. Anyway, my knee is finally enlarged and gets hot and painful when walking, so that’s not fun when post-op instructions are to walk as much as possible. I could schedule an appointment with my rheumatologist, but thought I’d start with this semi-specialist sports medicine doctor first. Besides the rheumatologist is usually booked out 6 months.
Meanwhile it’s fun trying to explain to my spouse why I may not be in the best frame of mind to watch surgery shows. Maybe some people wouldn’t care, and that’s great for them. We recently watched an episode of Gray’s Anatomy where they said how sick and disgusting it was that a person had let themselves go for so long. While technically referring to the medical condition, the same is likely all to apt for comments about overweight patients as well. I think they figure why help someone who obviously doesn’t care about their own health, and they must not care at all about their health if they’re overweight. Funny how I wonder if they say the same thing for people who drink too much or take drugs. Probably, yet I kind of think it’s more visually obvious of those who are overweight, and thus the overwhelming attitude is who cares about doing one’s best to help that kind of person. Yeah, I know it’s true, and maybe what I need to hear for more motivation, but it’s not the most fun thing to hear either.
Listened to a meditation the other day that theorized people are motivated by one of the following things: fear/avoidance, wanting something, duty, or love. The first two are negative ways to be motivated, the latter two are more positive. I’m not entirely sure how to be motivated to lose weight out of duty. Not saying this motivation theory is wrong; just not sure what to make of it.
Monday, April 1, 2024
So Long Salt, My Savory Friend
Slowly all my vices seem to be taken away from me. I know most of them aren’t too healthy, but it’s still difficult. I haven’t had Cheetos in over 4 months. Butter, less than that, but so long ago I can’t even recall the last time I had it. And so on. The last vice I thought I could keep was salt.
Yes, I know most people aren’t supposed to have a lot either, but that was my last pleasant treat. Had discussed with my PCP (primary care provider) years ago and he agreed if it was table salt and not processed hidden salt, and it helped me avoid other temptations, it was fine. At the time, anyway. I don’t use any old salt. I have a plethoric array of seasoned sea salts, which in theory are better because they’re stronger, so hopefully one uses less. I had a WW leader who swore on anything that table salt would not kill you. I very much wanted to take that to the proverbial bank.
I know there are other spices out there, and I do use them. Maybe I don’t know the magic combinations that make the combined sum delectably superior to the individual parts. But to say I need to cut out salt, that’s worse to me than giving up meats and even chocolate. Sure, I still like chocolate. But ask me how long I could live without one or the other, and I’d clutch my smoked truffle salt stash and send you on your way with your Cadbury/Hershey/whatever creamy goodness.
I love plain potatoes with seasoning (no high fat diary toppings like cheese and sour cream), but you guessed my favorite seasoning. Each day I could use a different deluxe flavored salt and enjoy a new adventure. Curry potatoes is ok but . . . Sure garlic, onion, red pepper, chives are all fine but . . . I wish I could find something I enjoyed as much. I really like the smoky (salt) flavorings. Chipotle isn’t bad, Siracha is ok in small doses . . . I am disappointed and in withdrawal while I look for that next best elixir. A local spice vendor had some seasoning mixes, and I purchased a sampler pack since I didn’t want to spend all day tasting and re-tasting dry without any food context. So far nothing bad but nothing great. They say it’s the journal and not the destination, but so far I’m not in love with this salt-free journey. I want to get to the end or at least a milestone where I find my next favorite flavoring that make me melt on contact.
Yes, I know most people aren’t supposed to have a lot either, but that was my last pleasant treat. Had discussed with my PCP (primary care provider) years ago and he agreed if it was table salt and not processed hidden salt, and it helped me avoid other temptations, it was fine. At the time, anyway. I don’t use any old salt. I have a plethoric array of seasoned sea salts, which in theory are better because they’re stronger, so hopefully one uses less. I had a WW leader who swore on anything that table salt would not kill you. I very much wanted to take that to the proverbial bank.
I know there are other spices out there, and I do use them. Maybe I don’t know the magic combinations that make the combined sum delectably superior to the individual parts. But to say I need to cut out salt, that’s worse to me than giving up meats and even chocolate. Sure, I still like chocolate. But ask me how long I could live without one or the other, and I’d clutch my smoked truffle salt stash and send you on your way with your Cadbury/Hershey/whatever creamy goodness.
I love plain potatoes with seasoning (no high fat diary toppings like cheese and sour cream), but you guessed my favorite seasoning. Each day I could use a different deluxe flavored salt and enjoy a new adventure. Curry potatoes is ok but . . . Sure garlic, onion, red pepper, chives are all fine but . . . I wish I could find something I enjoyed as much. I really like the smoky (salt) flavorings. Chipotle isn’t bad, Siracha is ok in small doses . . . I am disappointed and in withdrawal while I look for that next best elixir. A local spice vendor had some seasoning mixes, and I purchased a sampler pack since I didn’t want to spend all day tasting and re-tasting dry without any food context. So far nothing bad but nothing great. They say it’s the journal and not the destination, but so far I’m not in love with this salt-free journey. I want to get to the end or at least a milestone where I find my next favorite flavoring that make me melt on contact.
Thursday, March 28, 2024
Curse of the T-Rex Arms
Third exercise regret in 8 days culminating last Sunday. My co-worker diagnosed me with T-Rex Arms. The last two, I tried new exercise videos on youtube that didn’t seem that bad while doing them. They caught up with me later. My own fault on the last one. Suffice it to say, when you’ve done arm exercises without weights for so long and you decide to spice it up by using a little 1.5 pound weight, you shouldn’t start out with 60 reps just to show how long you can do it before getting tired. 30 probably would have been plenty. Maybe 20 each of several different arm exercises I’ve been doing. A little here and there, and it still adds up, right?
It’s surprising how much you use those arm and shoulder muscles throughout the day when you don’t realize it. Mainly hurt on one side, but that was enough. Took all week to be able to move freely again. Thus my aversion to soreness and going to quickly. It doesn’t pay off if you do so much that it hurts to move the rest of the week. Granted, I did find some fun seated Tai Chi things.
It’s surprising how much you use those arm and shoulder muscles throughout the day when you don’t realize it. Mainly hurt on one side, but that was enough. Took all week to be able to move freely again. Thus my aversion to soreness and going to quickly. It doesn’t pay off if you do so much that it hurts to move the rest of the week. Granted, I did find some fun seated Tai Chi things.
Tuesday, March 26, 2024
When Doctors Seem Clueless
I dislike how easy is to see only the negative reasons to lose weight. Maybe that’s more motivating? Still, it would be nice to have more positive motivation, more positivity in one’s life on the whole. Probably not realistic. What I see is that no doctor or health care provider will ever take you seriously or even want to treat you when you’re overweight. In the last few weeks I’ve been given the diagnosis of edema, baker’s cyst, water retention, and “nothing’s wrong with you, your body is shaped weird” for pain in my leg and swelling in my leg and knee. One doctor wanted an MRI without even looking at it. Hmm. In other words, any remedy such as rest, ice, or massage might help or make it worse. Resting and staying off it could help it heal, or make it worse, since I’ve been staying off my foot for months now, with the plantar fasciitis issue. We were finally building back up over 3000 steps in a day. Even doing that in small chunks hurt my foot, let alone all at once. So first we had a nice serving of guilt that this is all my fault because I haven’t been active enough. And bottom line, it appears I have to figure things out for myself because urgent care places only want to make sure you’re not dying, and regular doctors don’t have openings for 2-4 months to see you in the first place. They ruled out blood clot, which is nice, but otherwise, I’m on my own. Sure, I could get an MRI, but places are asking for payment up front these days, and depending on the time used, those can run a few thousand dollars. In addition, I have an MRI coming up for my cancer watch thing, so I kind of cringe having two of them, when I certainly wonder if it’s needed for my knee, when, as mentioned, the doctor wouldn’t even look at it. Telehealth is wonderful to get a quick appointment, but I’m not sure all situations are best treated that way. Of course, I’m not the expert. I’m only at their mercy, and I can tell you most of them hate treating overweight patients, because we bring all this on ourselves, even if we’re eating to that we no longer like food and still can’t lose much weight. Three months and I still haven’t gotten to the 10% mini milestone that is supposed to be worth noting.
Wednesday, March 20, 2024
The Great Fitness Tracker Debate
Ah, the fitness tracker conundrum. To get one, or be completely intrinsically motivated by the pure joy of activity. Yeah, right. I tend to not get the expensive stuff, but I definitely see how it can be motivating to track and improve, especially when perception can be subjective and change with time. Trackers can be more quantitative, and occasionally even qualitative. Why do I hem and haw? If I’m going to buy something that in my book is “expensive” (more than $10 for a crappy pedometer) I want it to be somewhat of an investment. I know nothing lasts forever, but I’d like it to no be a waste of money. Years ago, after a ridiculous amount of consideration, I purchased a Fitbit as such an investment. Loved using is and seeing all the activity I got in during the time I would normally not wear a pedometer (wrist vs. attaching to other wardrobe items). It gave silly little rewards for accomplishments, one could challenge friends who had Fitbits, and I enjoyed it until it died a year later. Barely outside the warrantee, I was disappointed and not about to buy another one if they only last a year. They did send me a replacement, which didn't work at all. Sure, it might not last 10 years, but come on. I don’t have that much money to throw away for $100+ every year. Lately I wondered if I could benefit from a less expensive tracker, so I went googling. I found a discontinued, but new Fitbit (vs. used) at a reasonable price, which opened the door of comparison of all the others. Sure, this model is $40 more, but is it worth that $40? Then the next model up is only $30 more above that . . .
See, the other problem was reviews for all the cheaper ones really suck. Sure, you shouldn’t expect the world out of a $50 tracker, but when 20% of the reviews are 1 star, and the total average is 3 star, it seems like what’s the point? Maybe it is better to pay $80 for a 4+ star if I get the warrantee. Yes, warrantees are stupid and one should not need to get them, but if it’s going to guarantee I can use it for 2-3 years instead of one, I’ll buy the dang thing. Average cost per year would still be less if it means I can use it that long. Again, the Fitbit was great while it lasted.
No, I don't want a smartwatch or the bulkier versions.
See, the other problem was reviews for all the cheaper ones really suck. Sure, you shouldn’t expect the world out of a $50 tracker, but when 20% of the reviews are 1 star, and the total average is 3 star, it seems like what’s the point? Maybe it is better to pay $80 for a 4+ star if I get the warrantee. Yes, warrantees are stupid and one should not need to get them, but if it’s going to guarantee I can use it for 2-3 years instead of one, I’ll buy the dang thing. Average cost per year would still be less if it means I can use it that long. Again, the Fitbit was great while it lasted.
No, I don't want a smartwatch or the bulkier versions.
Sunday, March 3, 2024
Mantra
Think I stumbled upon a new personal mantra. Its not exactly encouraging, but oh well. “This is the plan, this is what we’re doing, this is not optional.” Yeah. Like how you of bed every morning, and go to work because you simply have to. Even if you hate or your job, or you don’t like it or feel like it saps every ounce of energy you can muster. You have to pay bills so it’s simply not a question. So I thought, ok, maybe if I keep doing this healthier eating and exercise, whether I feel like it or not . . . maybe that’s the secret to keep going. You don’t have to like it. You just have to do it.
Monday, February 26, 2024
Ho Hum
Still plugging along. Not very enthusiastically, but still going. A bit bored of the fruits and vegetables I’m willing to eat. Tried a few beans; figured out I’m not really a bean person. If they’re buried in something like chili, I can stand a few, but not enthusiastically. Finally tried roasted soy beans (soy nuts) and chick peas. They’re ok, but nothing I would have gone out of my way to eat previously. If they still have the good fiber and protein, this might be one way I can tolerate them.
I’m not a recipe type of person. I tend to want food that’s ready to go with very little preparation. While there’s nothing bad about whole foods just as they are, maybe that makes them a little less exciting? I mean, even apple slices with peanut butter takes time I’m not always willing to spend. Thus I just eat apples, which is fine. Anything that’s super fun also seems super expensive. I love berries, but they’re pricey. Frozen are cheaper, again, which is fine. Blueberries are the cheapest where I live. I’m not super bored of them yet, but still, you see the point if one of my main fruits is frozen blueberries. I do potatoes with spices, but there are only so many spice variations you can dump on them. Steamed broccoli and mushrooms are fine, but again, no longer mixing them in pasta dishes (because I can’t stand whole grain pasta) and not sprinkling cheese on them, it’s like yay, spices and olive oil if they need moisture. Flavor infused olive oils are more expensive (sigh). Do you see the pattern? Thus my initial quandary with tofu – uhm, what do I do with it? Squeeze the water out, put more water and seasoning in, gah, I don’t want to spend that much time on it. I'd eat it right out of the container if it wasn't bland. Anyone out there sell tofu that's been seasoned and baked into something that tastes like immitation cheetos or such?
Exercise is fine too, but I’m still not feeling super motivated or those happy endorphins you’re supposed to get. Thankfully youtube has lots of videos to search, since I’m still off my feet and was told to not even try chair walking because it could put too much tension on my calves, which would in turn stress tendonts into the foot. The videos I do like, I don’t want to watch too much because then they get irritatingly repetitive. But I save the links and bookmark them and make notes when to start watching if they have a 2-3 min intro where they simply yap about themselves and their workouts. So far it's slightly more motivating to stick with a whole video than to try to do a series of exercises on my own, taking frequent breaks and losing track of how much I've done and probably not doing nearly as much as I should. Yay for youtube.
I’m not a recipe type of person. I tend to want food that’s ready to go with very little preparation. While there’s nothing bad about whole foods just as they are, maybe that makes them a little less exciting? I mean, even apple slices with peanut butter takes time I’m not always willing to spend. Thus I just eat apples, which is fine. Anything that’s super fun also seems super expensive. I love berries, but they’re pricey. Frozen are cheaper, again, which is fine. Blueberries are the cheapest where I live. I’m not super bored of them yet, but still, you see the point if one of my main fruits is frozen blueberries. I do potatoes with spices, but there are only so many spice variations you can dump on them. Steamed broccoli and mushrooms are fine, but again, no longer mixing them in pasta dishes (because I can’t stand whole grain pasta) and not sprinkling cheese on them, it’s like yay, spices and olive oil if they need moisture. Flavor infused olive oils are more expensive (sigh). Do you see the pattern? Thus my initial quandary with tofu – uhm, what do I do with it? Squeeze the water out, put more water and seasoning in, gah, I don’t want to spend that much time on it. I'd eat it right out of the container if it wasn't bland. Anyone out there sell tofu that's been seasoned and baked into something that tastes like immitation cheetos or such?
Exercise is fine too, but I’m still not feeling super motivated or those happy endorphins you’re supposed to get. Thankfully youtube has lots of videos to search, since I’m still off my feet and was told to not even try chair walking because it could put too much tension on my calves, which would in turn stress tendonts into the foot. The videos I do like, I don’t want to watch too much because then they get irritatingly repetitive. But I save the links and bookmark them and make notes when to start watching if they have a 2-3 min intro where they simply yap about themselves and their workouts. So far it's slightly more motivating to stick with a whole video than to try to do a series of exercises on my own, taking frequent breaks and losing track of how much I've done and probably not doing nearly as much as I should. Yay for youtube.
Wednesday, February 21, 2024
Tofu is Our Friend
Friend of mine corrected me on tofu care, and I've already bought more to try again. At least the taste and texture was tolerable for me. Also need to try soy nuts.
On another funny note, apparently throwing a fit does burn calories. That is, the scale budged shortly after that post. Still, I have noted to never tell anyone in real life. I made the mistake of telling a co-worker, and they minimized my efforts even after I told them how hard I'd been working. They chalked it up to stress and said it must have fallen off without any effort. Uhm, excuse me, no. I have been eating better (whether I feel like it or not), exercising and going to bed hungry because I'm afraid I don't deserve to ingest anything else. I know I haven't made much progress, but I have been working at it. I ordered pants 2 sizes smaller and although they're snug, they pretty much fit. I realize that's a drop in the bucket. I guess I should have realized not to trust anyone in real life with anything personal too. Public Service Announcement: if someone in your life tells you they've worked really hard at something (anything) don't be a dork and tell them it's nothing. Be encouraging. Even if you aren't convinced they have. Don't insult them and tell them you know what their life is like when you have no clue. Ok? Thanks.
On another funny note, apparently throwing a fit does burn calories. That is, the scale budged shortly after that post. Still, I have noted to never tell anyone in real life. I made the mistake of telling a co-worker, and they minimized my efforts even after I told them how hard I'd been working. They chalked it up to stress and said it must have fallen off without any effort. Uhm, excuse me, no. I have been eating better (whether I feel like it or not), exercising and going to bed hungry because I'm afraid I don't deserve to ingest anything else. I know I haven't made much progress, but I have been working at it. I ordered pants 2 sizes smaller and although they're snug, they pretty much fit. I realize that's a drop in the bucket. I guess I should have realized not to trust anyone in real life with anything personal too. Public Service Announcement: if someone in your life tells you they've worked really hard at something (anything) don't be a dork and tell them it's nothing. Be encouraging. Even if you aren't convinced they have. Don't insult them and tell them you know what their life is like when you have no clue. Ok? Thanks.
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