Today is officially the darkest day of the year, where I live. That gives something to look forward to, it getting brighter and lighter. Today wasn’t too bad, all things considered. It was only partly cloudy, and the sun came out in late afternoon, so I could enjoy it a little. When it’s dark cloudy or rainy, it would take until about 9 am for the sun to come up over one building, and it would seem to “set” behind the other building by 3:30pm. Still, I’ve noticed being a bit more sluggish this past week especially. I tried to redeem one of my yearly free counseling visits through work, and ask them for ideas more successfully coping with reduced sunlight. But the provider refused to work with me since I did not have at least 5 hours of neuro-psych testing to prove what is wrong with me. Great. My insurance won't pay for that unless I have documented proof there is something substantilly wrong with me in the first place. Like, that traditional treatment isn't working, so you need testing to figure out what the heck . . . It's expensive, and they don't pay for everyone to have it done for fun. They don't even pay for everyone who has autism or learning disabilities or mental illness. You've gotta be in worse shape than that. So I’m back to reading my 700 page book and others. Guess healthcare is more self-serve these days. Figure out what’s wrong and fix it yourself.
An acquaintance jokingly commented maybe it’s the adult version of being afraid of the dark. Did I already mention we’re not allowed to plug in things at our desk unless they are usb powered? That’s been a fun challenge. And yes, people sneak around, but eventually the maintenance people come around and start giving orders . . . Last year they chewed me out for having a small SAD LED light at my desk that was previously approved by HR and a doctor’s note. But they were adamant I remove it immediately.
I think that’s why the idea of hygge appeals to me. That’s the first one I heard about, anyway. I ‘ve heard other countries and cultures have their equivalent. Lagom, maybe? Making things cozy and happy lighting in the otherwise dark bleak winter months. I still haven’t mastered that yet. I have some extra holiday-ish lights in my bedroom year-round, and the overhead light on a dimmer switch. I already love salt lamps, and have heard they are good for this. Yet I can’t put my finger on why the work holiday setup in the hall bugs me. It seems like they’re going for the same effect, but it seems dreary to me. They turned off all the hall and overhead lighting and only left the tree and holiday lights. If this were outdoors, it would make sense. But there is so much dead space between the decorations and lights, it looks more bleak and tired to me. When the lights were on last week, the whole setup looked very festive and bright. Now I’d be afraid to trip over something, especially if my eyes haven’t adjusted enough yet. Maybe that kind of low lighting works in a restaurant or bar after work, but when you’re trying to work; I don’t know; it was odd.
Anyway, if anyone knows of online hygge classes, or ambient lighting, sign me up.
