Friday, February 4, 2022

Other Diseases that kinda Suck

Day 1 of steroids. Nasty stuff to squirt up your nose. What goes up, must always come back down the back of your throat and tastes awful. I heard they make flavored iodine for people to drink who live close to radiation spots. Why can’t the figure out a way to make nasal sprays that don’t taste quite so nasty? De-flavor them a bit and cover up whatever is left with grape, or cherry or whatever. Isn’t it more common than people who have to work around radiation? (not that I envy them.) I don’t want to know all the side effects (besides feeling like I’m starving all day). Don’t tell me it could damage my vision when I’ve already had 5 eye surgeries. I hate reading how corticosteroids are for people who’s bodies are broken and attack their own healthy cells. I haven’t even had to read it that often. Does anyone else tire of being told they are essentially defective and permanently diseased and have it start sounding like one is basically hopeless? I used to be prepared with the description that my immune system is confused, so it attacks what isn’t sick, and runs out of ammunition (and common sense) to attack actual illness. Who knows if that’s true; it’s just something I told myself that sounded good. Probably so I could stop reading whatever disheartening stuff I was at the time. I know I’m not in great health; that’s no shocker. But somehow it feels like I’m being told I’m a sub-class human who doesn’t have the potential to ever be well and that sucks at some point. Somehow it feels like it’s even more my fault, than things within my control, like not eating healthy or exercising enough. It feels like I am so wrong as a person, at a base identity, that I can never be good enough. Anyone else ever take it that personally with auto-immune issues?