Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Advice Seekers

Someone asking your advice should probably be considered a complement. But sometimes it can get out of hand.

A person I know constantly asks me for cat advice. I've tried to help her the best I can on several occasions. But I've noticed several disturbing patterns emerging.

She seems to ask almost for the sake of asking.
Can I look up a phone number for her? She left it at work. Yes, I have access to the same phone books you do ... Can you call them and ask their address and directions? Uhm, you're calling me on the phone. Since you obviously have access to the phone, wouldn't it be more direct if you called them yourself? That way you make sure you understand the directions. This isn’t just once, but repeatedly ...

She asks my advice and then argues with it.
She takes a long time to ask her questions in the first place. I could summarize in one sentence what she tries to articulate in 5 minutes. So it's off to a slow start. First she acts completely helpless, then doesn't like the best answer I can give her. And she keeps fishing for more. Ok, I admit, sometimes it's human nature to ask the advice of others when we're really seeking someone to agree with a decision we've already made. But this isn't as simple as agreeing with her or not. She calls with concerns about her cats food--has it been included in the latest recall news? I look on the internet for her. Does she know what type it is? No, can't you find out anyway? How would I know what kind of food she gives her cats? She finally gets the information on the bag. Bagged cat food of that brand has not been named, and I've done half a dozen searches just in case. Well, they don't seem to sell that cat food at her store anymore, so I must be wrong. Why can’t I confirm her cat food has been recalled? Well, if it’s not available at your store, guess you can get another cat food then. But I need to see if the one I've been using has been recalled. I need to know if that's what's making my cat sick! Oh, your cat is sick? You might want to ask a vet. No, I need you to tell me this cat food has been recalled so I can blame the company, even if I can't do anything about it (ok, you know I'm paraphrasing here, right)?
So all in all, it can take a really long time to get this person off the phone just because I can't give her the answer she's looking for.
Another example. Her cat is sick, she took it to the vet. It now has new symptoms, and she can't convince her vet that the cat is having a reaction to the meds. I feel for her. It’s hard when you’re trying to help someone/something and you’re at a loss what to do, or your methods don’t seem to help. I call around to several vets & specialists I know. No one has heard of these reactions to the meds she's been given, but they kindly give their thoughts that there might be another condition—they even specify what condition to look for and confirm, or politely say she could ask for a second opinion. I convey my findings. Well, we must all be wrong, and she huffs as if I'm wasting her time by telling her what she doesn't want to hear. Hey, I acknowledge I'm not a vet, I cannot give a diagnosis over the phone, but she was concerned, and I tried to do a bit of research for her. What more did she want? If I told her yes, it's quite clearly a reaction to the meds, is it like I can give her a new rx? Can I recommend anyone that would? No, I cannot, especially if she claims she can't afford to see another vet. Uhm, exactly what solution is she expecting from me here? It's not like she huffs off and hangs up, or leaves me alone. She just keeps digging at me, as if I'm with-holding information from her.

She repeatedly asks for advice I cannot give.
She has developed this little feral cat colony on her property, and although I have absolutely no knowledge about ferals, that doesn't stop her from asking. How do I catch them to spay/neuter them? I don't like the methods you've heard of. Can't you find me more? Where can I take them to get spayed/neutered for free? The several places you recommended won’t be able to get them in until next month. Now what do I do? What do I do if my feral is acting a certain way? Why would it do that? My feral has been missing for 18 hours. Where did it go? What do I do? Why did it leave? I don't think this cat would want to leave. I think someone is sneaking around shooting tranq darts and steeling my cats for satanic rituals. Am I just supposed to agree with this stuff to get her to pipe down? Gee, I'm really sorry, sounds like you have a cult problem in your neighborhood. Maybe you should euthanize all the cats to prevent anything from happening to them.
I need coolers to keep my cats warm. Do they sell them in winter? Do they sell coolers at the store that is (literally) 4 blocks from my house, that’s miles away from you? How am I supposed to know this? Call them? Oh yeah, for some reason she can’t make her own phone calls except to me. Call any stores. If you’re shopping, ask them. That’s the way people find out things like this.

Ok, as previously eluded to, she asks for vet advice. I know, we all try to get what we can without spending more time & money than we have to, but there's a point ... One of my feral cats died--tell me why. Excuse me? You want me to perform the autopsy? I have no idea, I’m not qualified, can't even gander a guess. Really sorry this happened, but not much I can do to diagnosis this. Ferals can be more prone to disease, especially if they aren't vaccinated; there's a whole host of things that may have caused this, and unfortunately this is why they don't live as long.
My vet says my feral cat died from distemper. What is distemper? How does that spread? Why didn’t you ask your vet? Even ask the receptionist at the office—I’ll bet they can tell you. If I try to find out, you wouldn’t believe me anyway.

Someone gave me a cat they found in their yard. I can’t keep it, but it’s really nice and tame. Should I take it to shelter A, or shelter B, both of which you’ve never heard of, since they are located where I live, not where you live. Which shelter are they more likely to get adopted from? What are their adoption policies? How would I know this information?

It finally occurs to me that this person is acting a bit like an unruly child. They are that insistent, that unreasonable. They want me (or someone else) to figure things out for them, yet they throw mini tantrums if they don’t get exactly what they want. So how do you teach a child to be self-sufficient? Especially when they’re old enough that they are 50+ years practiced in being this stubborn? Without appearing patronizing and condescending? Especially when that person is your mother, and you desperately want to tell her to grow up.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

To Dust, or Not to Dust?

Haven’t blogged about it much here, but I am increasingly tempted to get back into photography, specifically 4x5 large format. Anyone familiar with the craft knows this is no small undertaking, especially when you don’t have all the equipment. I got a good deal on a monorail studio camera setup a few years ago after taking a few classes. Sadly, the classes ended with me on unemployment, and pursuing this time and money consuming hobby didn’t seem the best at the time. And so it sat—not even tested, with two lenses, 11 film holders, and I couldn’t even tell you the make of the camera w/o digging it up. Talking to a co-worker that does 4x5, and seeing large lush green pictures of foliage and waterfalls (that I know I could take myself and get a better color balance) has tempted me to think about it with some degree of seriousness. But I still have several things to sort out.

A good light meter tops the expense list at $500, but I should be grateful the model I’m looking at hasn’t gone up in price much over the last few years. That’s something, right? I’m trying to figure out cheaper ways around that, most serious photographers would probably consider sacrilege, so we’ll skip that topic for now.

The second most expensive item I’m looking into brings us to our topic today: film holders. As mentioned, I have 11 untested that look to be in good shape. That would give me 22 possible shots in one outing. As I recall, good ones run about $30 a piece, so that’s a pretty nice start. But then there’s this idea of the quickloader. Mmmm. Since I use velvia, Fuji has this device that supposedly saves a person from loading individual film slides, and hence hours of meticulous dusting of film holders in the quest against dust ruining images. Would also save the trouble of having limited number of slide holders loaded (evidently you only need one), or the bulkiness of toting around said slide holders, and of course, the fun of un-loading film for developing to start all over again. The quickloader costs around $150, give or take, but at least it’s a one-time investment. Quickload film, on the other hand, so far as I’ve looked, is around $5 a shot, vs. under $3 for the regular kind. Add developing, and I’m looking at 7.50-8.50 a shot, not including taxes and shipping. Hmm.

Now, normally doing away with the dust-war is priceless in itself because it’s so monotonous and time-consuming. But in this economy (don’t you hate how everyone says “in this economy”?), one has to wonder if perhaps the labor and angst could possibly be worth saving cumulative funds. You hear or read stories all the time about people going to great lengths to save money, “in this economy.” My contemplation today is, could it actually be worth it to save this much money, yet cause such a headache? Time is money, but if you don’t have that much money, is it worth investing the time?

Take the quickloader film holder. Might be able to get it a few bucks cheaper, but with shipping, we’ll still give it a basic average of $150.00. That means that your first 150 photos (a pretty good achievement in large format) will on average cost one more dollar apiece. We’re now approaching $9-10 per attempted photo. Vs. almost half that much (ok, $5-6) by going with film you have to load yourself.

Back to the arduous way. I’m missing my nice anti-static film brush, so that’s $20 to replace at this point. In theory I could see how long I could survive without it, if I didn’t have to load my own film. Probably need a light-safe tent or bag to load film too. I think the basic ones start out cheap, but a nicer/roomier one would probably closer to $50. Then I'd also have to test out 22 shots on those existing film-holders to guarantee they are light-safe. They may be perfectly fine, but I'd be foolish not to test them before taking a trip or significant photos. That's a little more time spent (might as well attempt somewhat nice photos in case they do turn out), and at least $100 in film & developing.

On the other hand, isn’t personal sanity priceless? Yes, I’m still leaning towards the quickloader.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Searching for a Cause

Double meaning here. First off, I always use Goodsearch.com It’s so easy, even if you prefer google or another engine, I don’t see why people don’t use it at least some of the time to support charities. Or click daily on places like the hunger site, or animal rescue site, or the other three sites that are all linked together there (literacy, child health, breast cancer rain forest). It takes seconds. Even if you don’t remember to click every single day, once in a while when you remember . . .

So heck, I try not to bookmark sites so I have to search for them and raise a few cents here and there. The great thing is that a friend of mine told me about the whole goodsearch thing, and I’ve gotten at least three local places to sign up, and they’ve made several hundred dollars. See the great influence one person can have?

On the other hand, I still find myself searching for a cause. For some reason we human beings (at least some of us) feel this need to feel like we have purpose. Like we’re not an accident—we have a reason for being here, and can make a difference, no matte how small. Heck, even a hobby would help me out. One that I can afford, anyway. Did some web-window-shopping this weekend to see what the damage would be to start up 4x5 photography . . . a decent spot meter alone is $500, and the rest of it adds up close to another 500, so needless to say that doesn’t look like a good prospect right now.

Of course, right now I guess unpacking would be a more practical hobby . . . a bit less to look forward too, but necessary.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Making of a Grinch

It can take a lot to turn someone into a grinch, really. Some of us resist it for quite a while. It can take years of cumulative events until someone like me finally crosses the line. This year I think I have. It's not that I hate the holidays; just all the baggage that comes with them.

I envy those who are immune to the depleted sunlight; I think that's where it starts for me. Something about arriving at and leaving work when it's dark for two months just saps the energy out of me. I'd think it would sap energy out of anyone, but of course there are exceptions. All I'm saying is that to start off with, I have a bit depleted energy and enthusiasm, and as a result, perhaps a bit less patience.

So a couple hours after getting to work, the sun edges up to great us, and I listen to people complain how it's not above 80 degrees anymore. Excuse me, isn't that what "winter" means? If it has the audacity to snow (which it only does a couple times in my area) I hear people who are even more outraged. I tire of people complaining about snow, or even the prospect of snow.

I don't mind the snow. I don't even resent the overly-hesitant drivers that forget how to drive in it every year. I do get tired of the truck & SUV drivers that think they are immune to sliding because they have four wheel drive, and then cause accidents because they're idiots careening along 20mph over the speed limit and have no idea what they're doing.

And it's not one single holiday shopper that has me turned against shopping during November & December. It's the culmination of all of them, and year after year. It's that EVERY single year it's like I'd better stock up on food and everything I can imagine or else I might have to spend an hour in line for a light bulb or gallon of milk while people cough and sneeze on me and their kids take joy in ramming their parents cart into mine. It's all the people that excel in making shopping into a cut-throat olympic event. What with the shoving, the cutting in front of people, and the glaring if you get to something before them . . . it's the whole show that gets on my nerves.

It's not that I despise holiday music on the whole, but when it's blaring on the loudspeakers & I already have a headache from all this, and the overwhelming smell of cinnoman that I'm allergic to that permiates the store . . .
You never hear them play slow or laid back music in stores. No, that could decrease sales. They play the fastest loudest music they can so that it either stimulates the hyper maniacs or makes your blood pressure rise or just want to get the heck out of there.

I like the holiday lights. The new place I moved into has a regulation about not having any holiday decorations up outisde of five days from the holiday, so that puts a damper on things. Can't put up lights on a weekend if it's more than five days before the holiday or that's a no-no. And you have to take them down before New Years. I put things up inside, but . . .

I dislike mandatory workplace secret santa exchanges where they claim you shouldn't spend more than $20, but everyone in the office spends $150 plus, so if you don't you look like the scrooge. I hate holiday parties you have to go to even though you already dislike your co-workers and have no desire to be around them, let alone having to put up withem without compensation. Some people you don't want to spend your free time with, no matter how drunk either of you gets. I get tired of the "complementary" holiday work lunches where they serve you left-overs from the cafeteria from two days ago under a heat lamp, and tell you how greatful you should be, and how this shows how much the company cares about its employees.

It's not one thing that gets to me; it's the whole collage, and the repetativeness of it, year after year.

I like the snow, soft-tempered Christmas songs, decorations and lights. Donating makings for Christmas for families in need, and cold animals left unwanted at shelters. It's just the rest of it I'd rather do without. Happy Grinchmas.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

WhisperWriter II

One interesting thing about moving is finding things you'd long forgotten. Only thing more amuzing than that is discovering that they still work.

Among these treasures was a Brother WhisperWriter II WP-7500j II. It's a word processor I got at least 15 years ago when I was in college & couldn't afford a computer that would be outdated before I learned to use it. School had a computer lab, but then you had to hope there was an available slot when you needed it, hope you didn't accidentally get infected with a virus, and it was only open until midnight, which was when I got off my full-time job. So I invested in this device to work on papers on my own time and location. We took it with us in the move because I insisted I had to check if there was any retrievable data on it before throwing it out. Today it was unpacked. It not only works perfectly, but had a wealth of data untouched for over ten years. Kind of scary. The biggest imperfection is that it uses ink cartridges that are less than common these days (heck, I'm amazed they even exist) and a few rubbed-off glow in the dark star stickers adorned on the monitor frame. But as old as the technology is (it was probably outdated even when I purchased it), it still works. It has a word program, spreadsheet capabilities, templates and letter formatting, and although I've never used it, it can supposedly hook up to e-mail. Because of the printer components it is a bit bulky, but I'm just amused it still works perfectly for what it is for. Granted, it uses those little 3 1/2 floppy discs that no one makes anymore, but I'll bet if you found any, you could certainly get them for next to free. Maybe someone's technology fearing grandparent could use it . . .

Anyway, that was my stroll down memories of techologies past . . .

Monday, December 8, 2008

Animal Guides

I could go ramble on for quite some time how I developed my theory on animal guides (or animal spirits, animal totems, whatever you prefer to call them). I think we can learn from almost any animal, regardless of whether you buy into the idea of having certain animals connected to you, or assigned to teach or look out for you. Sometimes I notice animals in real life and wonder what they might be trying to teach me. Other times, I have what I can merely describe as a somewhere between a hankering and a yearning for an animal. If I were at a zoo or aquarium, I’d want to hang out by that animal all day. Or if I don’t have the opportunity to be around one in real life, I’ll usually get the craving to buy or collect things with that animal—I might browse for pictures online, or look for collectables on ebay. It’s like I want to surround myself with some semblance of the animal.

Lately I’ve had a thing for sea lions. Not the first time. If there is such a thing as an animal spirit/guide, sea lions would definitely be on my list. You’d have to agree if you’ve ever smelled them. I’ve gone to the Sea Lion Caves on the Oregon coast, and spent hours there, regardless of the odor. I don’t even notice it, I’m so enthralled with the animals. Maybe I can dig up a video tape of that—that might help. I have a small picture of sea lions at my desk (I like pictures), but right now it’s like I want a near-life-sized mural too. Or a huge stuffed animal to hug. Ironically, as I was searching for photos online, I did find a pattern one can crochet to make a stuffed sea lion. It was only a few inches though, and even though I crochet a little, I’m not good at patterns. I want something body-pillow sized. I’m sure I got some souvenirs when I was at the coast. Maybe I should dig them out. If I had any idea where they are (remember, we just moved, and most things are still in boxes). Or maybe it’ll pass

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Letter to my Photo teacher

(that I don't have the guts to say or send in real life)

I'm sure when you reflect on your various students, some shine, some are duds. I'm a dud. Even so, you might want to know you've impacted me more than you know.

Currently I use a digital point & shoot most often (gasp). But it's a point & shoot that has manual, aperture priority & shutter priority settings, and I never use the dummy modes. It has several white balance choices, and I never use the exposure recommended by the camera.

When I sit in waiting rooms I automatically evaluate the photographs in the books and have a pretty good idea what film they used. I tsk them for lack of shadow or highlight detail, and I can tell the difference between real black & whites and fakes.

While I don't always view the world in the four stops of light, I'll often see scences & decide what camera and medium would work best for it.

I may have washed out, but I still remember what you taught us.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

B/W

I miss photography. I have a little digital point & shoot, but it’s not the same.

In the process of moving, J found a used roll of black & white film that hadn’t been developed. No idea what’s on it. I’m going to have to go back to my old photo teacher & ask him to develop it for me (because I don’t want to spend $200 on a darkroom pass to do it myself). I haven’t been over there in years. Really miss the darkroom. And all the familiar quips you’d hear him make, like “there’s no smell like fixer in the morning” or “don’t judge a photo in the darkroom unless you intend to hang a show in there.”
But then life happens, and gets in the way, and I decided it was more important to spend time with family instead of the darkroom. Still, I miss it.