Pen Parody

The other morning I listened to Absolutely Mindy on Kids Place Live Radio. A kid was saying how glad he was to go back to regular school after several months of being home-schooled. Mindy was inspired and started to ad lib some altered lyrics to a certain Disney Princess song. “I want to be where the people are . . . “

I’m guessing that was my inspiration for thoughts popping into my head this after noon about the Color Technik pens. Like that huge box of crayons, it just looked so wonderful, and it felt like it just didn’t deliver, since I couldn’t readily use all of them. It seems like “Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you think my (pen) collection’s complete?” Now I feel like I need to complete the parody in full. “I’ve got yellows and purples a plenty. I’ve got neons and earth-tones galore. You want gold-tone? I’ve got twenty. But who cares . . . no big deal . . . I want more . . .

Ok, I don’t know if I have 20 gold pens. Probably. But you gett he idea. “What is a fountain (pen), and how long does ink take to dry? Anyone want to help with additional lyrics? My sister wrote a full length parody of the “Raven” poem by Edgar Allen Poe when she was in high school. It’s possible to do this. You just need a warped sense of humor and (possibly warped) commitment.

Pen Review: Color Technik Glitter 80 pack

This looked like another fun set to try. 80 individual colors, and refills were available sold separately at the time. It was like upgrading from the Crayola 8 colors to the infamous 64 colors, back in the day. I don’t see where one can purchase these pens (or refills) anymore, but I’m going to review them anyway. The first thing I did was take them all out and organize them by apparent color. I can’t stand it when they put them in all randomly. I want to see blues together, greens, purples, and so on. Who wants to hunt through the entire pack looking at brown next to yellow next to hot pink, silver, another shade of yellow . . . It was an impressive spread in four foldable panels. I am given to wonder if this was representative of the “average” glitter pen out there. Reviews, prices, and appearances seemed very similar to other larger sets available. The colors were pretty, when they worked. I don’t know the expected shelf-life of an average gel pen, or if glitter pens don’t last as long. I guess I’ve been spoiled with pens in general, so these disappointed me a bit. I was able to get a sample of each ink when I opened it (which I tucked in my book) but some of those pens never worked again. Ink got stuck or bubbled back into the top of the tube, and could not be coaxed back out. Maybe I do not know the best way to pen-whisper stubborn inks out, but I would also think that so many should have issues with rare use after 2-6 months shelf life. Had I used them constantly, they might have lasted 4 months based on the amount the ink went down after use. But if some start to dry out after 2 . . . It wasn’t that the entire set died, or all at once. But what is the point of having such a breath-taking array of colors to choose from when . . . you can’t really choose from all of them? I think the problem is a pen wouldn’t die all at once. It would sputter long enough to give one hope and be annoying. Sputter, skip, start and sputter again . . .Then 8 minutes and 5 pens later, you finally find one that works sufficiently. You didn’t get to use your first pick, or your second . . . So for me it somewhat of defeated the purpose of having all that variety to pick your ideal color. In retrospect I should have started the pen hospital/infirmary sooner. Those pens that skip annoyingly but don’t seem quite out of hope, so I’d put them back, only to be disappointed another day. This is when the Color-It pens started to look much better. And I have yet to see any other organizational system with that many colors that labels the barrels for consistent refills. (What you put in the pen IS the same color, not an iffy refill that you’re not sure about, ends up being slightly off, and you keep reaching for the wrong pen barrel color out of habit). On a good note, at least I got a ton of pen casings (housings? what does one call them?) Similar to Color-It, the pens seem to fit a variety of other gel color refills out there. If tempted to try other refills (cheaper than the pens, and less waste) at least I have a huge resource of pens to put them in. Color-It and Color Technik were the two main larger pen sets I got. I don’t have that much money to spend on multiple sets that run $10-40 dollars each. That adds up. I based my purchase on skimming reviews and overall ratings, and enlarging photos of the pen selection to ensure there were enough I would actually want to use (no point getting a set of 50 when you only really want to use 12). Based on the prices and reviews of a lot of the glitter pen packages out there, I didn’t think I’d strike magic anywhere else.

Pen Review: Color-It Glitter 48/96 pack (48 pens, 48 refills)

Pen reviews will be in random order (or basically when I feel like re-visiting using a pen and wanting to write an evaluation on it). Today I re-visited Color-it Glitter gel pens, set of 48 pens (purchase also included a set of refills). I believe I tried this set in response to my favorite glitter gel pen discontinuing several colors. With that more limited color variety, I thought I’d better look for something else to fill that void. I primarily use pens for writing, so I don’t need as vast a pallet as those who color. Since I write, I also tend to prefer the bulk of colors being dark enough to read easily. When I buy a rainbow color pack, I try to enlarge the picture and estimate how many of the colors I would prefer to write with, and take this into account before purchasing. At the time I got this, I considered it ok, but not definitively my go-to gel glitter pen. With all the pens I have tried since, I would elevate this set to above average (there are some sad, sucky pens out there). The pens generally write thick (bold lines) and bright when they write. They can gloop a little now and then, but have relatively consistent quality. I guess I write a bit, and had been spoiled by my previous glitter gel pen, so these didn’t last quite as long as I’d hoped, but in retrospect, they do last longer than the average cheap glitter pen. And when purchased, all the pens actually worked. Advantages of this set: they are very organized. Each pen has a color name and number. The refills are numbered, so one can replace with identical ink. I didn’t realize how handy this was until trying other sets. Yes, you can buy refills, but you might be eye-balling it when replacing, and when the pen cap is a different color than the ink, and the ink appears differently in the barrel than on paper . . . You might be guessing, and then constantly grab a color you didn’t want. I imagine this would be even more crucial for coloring. I have not seen any other pen sets that have this organizational system. One can also keep purchasing refills at a lower price, so that’s also a plus. Disadvantages: for some reason, Color-it doesn’t sell all their glitter pens in one set. What the??? I thought I was purchasing the whole set, as I saw other Color-it sets that were labeled containing regular, Neon or Metallic. Why on earth they chose to deprive me of a few glitter and put that pen in a different set is beyond me, and it was not worth it to me to buy the other set. I only discovered this after e-mailing the manufacturer to ask them to consider making a black glitter someday. They responded that they did, and a few more glitter colors that were in this other set. I don’t recall all the other glitters I was missing, and don’t know if all the different sets still exist. But as we mentioned with managing expectations, sometimes your point of view is what you are seeking, or willing to spend money on. Since it was not my desire to snap up every Color-it pen on the market, it irked me a little that a few extra glitters were hidden in this other set that I didn’t really want to buy on the whole. So for my personal preference, this had a few more lights and yellows compared to other sets (I noticed since I don’t use as much) and no black glitter. Yes, you can really see the glitter in black, and I happen to like it. It was one of the ones they discontinued from my previous manufacturer, so I noticed and was mildly disappointed.

Pen Count Started

The great pen gathering has begun. I am counting refills separately. I am not including sourvineeer or novelty pens unless they work and I would use them to write (not just used for decoration, eye candy). I am not including pens I demoted and bequeathed to my spouse. I am not counting markers, highlighters, or pencils. I am not including pens in my "infirmary" where they don't work well but I haven't given up on them yet. I will include pens I personally own and brought to work because I don't like company provided and my standards are too high. I have personal work pens at both my home and office work stations.

Guesses, anyone? (Rift?) My spouse and I have cast our estimates.

The biggest challenge will be to simply count and not re-organize as I go (otherwise this will take forever, and if I change my mind what sub-storage to put them in the count count be off).

Intervention plans? Do Anon groups apply to pens? I already read an article that said anyone who favors Diet Coke is clearly an addict. Sadly, I did not protest. The question is how many addictions do I have. Which brings up a whole different mess of questions not to be addressed here at this time (if one attempts to reign in one addiction, how do you not displace the addictive tendancy elsewhere?).

Pen Expectations

I’ve decided it’s a lot about expectation for the pens. Had someone simply given me those pens for free, and said hey, see what you think of them, I still could have written an honest review, but I wouldn’t have been quite so cranky about it. I’d still say hmm, not really “blue black” in my opinion, but oh well. And I might focus on the idea that the felt-feeling pen is supposed to write from every angle and say, ok, if you’re in need of that, maybe that’s cool. Maybe I need to take out my other pens and see if they write upside-down and other odd angles. But the fact that I scoped and attempted to find a certain type of pen, allowed myself to be lured in, paid money, and was disappointed because it did not match what I was looking for and what it supposedly promised . . . that made a big difference in my attitude. I might see if I can exchange the "blue black" for plain black. It was mainly the color that was odd to me. I think it was pretty smooth otherwise. It's the blue equivalent of dusty rose. Again, expectations. It said "black ink infused with color." Had it said "pastels with a hint of gray" that would have set up a totally different expectation. I think I would call this pen flavor "little boy blue-gray." Well, if I do decide to do a pen inventory, I guess it’s more of a “head-count” versus “census” of my pens. A census implies more detailed information, such as color or type (glitter, metallic, gel, ballpoint, etc) and I don’t have that much devotion to such a project. I simply thought it would be interesting to see approximately how many pens and refills I have. I’m thinking I should count the refills since I have a few of those things like set of 30 pens and 30 refills (popular in glitter and coloring pens right now) and that would breath more time and life into one’s pen stash. Also need to count all the pens I have at work (I am so picky I use my own) and unused stashed in boxes. Might be interesting to see the approximate total (who knows how many pens are hiding that I won't find until later). My spouse said his guess would be about 200 pens. I could be way off, but I'm thinking closer to 500, and I would not be surprised if I had over 600. Aside from unopened refills, these would only be counting working keep-able pens. I think I do have a small stack somewhere that don't work that I haven't given up on yet, but I would be honest in keeping those invalid pens in a separate count.

Pens: Uniball Air

As unimpressed as I was with the Uniball Vision Elite, the Uniball Air was even worse. Again, right now I’m in the mood for something that writes very smooth and glides across the paper. While some people appreciate the nibs that have friction and scratch and make noise, that is not what I am looking for right now. This pen was like writing with a q-tip covered in dry moss. Idk. I wanted to say it was not smooth, as a q-tip dipped in ink would probably not be smooth, as it’s very fibrous, but then thought hmm, that’s not descriptive enough. Again, I’m not saying felt tips don’t have a place in the pen world at all, but that was not what I was looking for at this time. I currently like gel pens, and this stupid, stupid website made it sound like rollerballs were better than any gel pens, and that these two were the cream of the crop for affordable (under $25 a piece) rollerball pens.

If nothing else, the Uniball Air made me appreciate the Vision Elite much, much more. Now my chief annoyance is with the advertised color. They happened to have “blue black” which, in other brands, essentially means navy, and I thought I would like it. In Uniball-land, apparently “blue black” means medium blue-gray. Regular blue pens are darker than this blue. It’s like blue-gray storm clouds. Storm-cloud coloring can be pretty in its own right, but I was promised “blue black” and I hardly think it qualified. My preferred blue-black pen is Zebra Sarasa gel ink, .7 or 1.0 (I’m partial to bold lines right now). But in hindsight it was much smoother than the Air, so that’s something. But I do not have patience to pay money in order to test out what might be decent pens. Ha, if anything, I should go through my trove and write reviews of all the ones I already have. Figure out exactly what they are and why I like them. I thought I had a different kind or rollerball once that I didn’t hate . . . so I don’t know why these two disappointed me so much. I must find reliable info on different pen types and what makes a difference. Then maybe someday I can shop more reliably (as if I really need any more pens. I should take a census, I have that many).

Pen Quest

Someone at work was compiling a list of “favorite things” for occasions like birthdays, etc. I found myself noting under hobbies: Quest for the perfect pen. Ah, but is anything so simple? What is preferable to me is not preferable to others. In fact, I see a lot of trends towards very thin point pens, and I find myself preferring bolder, thicker lines. What is a person to do? We have two main office supply stores where I live, and they carry very similar items. If you’re lucky, they have something set out as a sampler to test and try out a pen before you buy. One can waste a lot of money buying pens because they get good reviews. It’s not as if everything on the internet is true (eye-roll). I’m starting to doubt how many reviews are legitimate out there anymore. I recently skimmed through an article about helpful items or gadgets . . . or whatever it was, I don’t recall. It was sad how almost every single “noted review” started “Love, love love this _____.” Could you get any more obvious that the reviews were fake? At least attempt to make an attempt to pretend they are by different people. So that has tainted my trust this week a little. The other incident that saddened me was trying the Uniball Vision Elite rollerball pen as I saw this write-up of it being the supreme affordable rollerball pen, also claiming rollerballs were highly superior to gel pens. Sadly, I took the bait. It was “only” $13 down the drain, to get a set of 4, but they were hardly worth 3 dollars a pen. Worlds like “tolerable” and “completely underwhelming” came to mind. And so we will try again. I miss those stores with columns or shelves of pens, that go on and on, and there is a tester of each. The last store I went to like this was the Kinokuniya Bookstore adjacent to Uwajimaya in Seattle, Washington. Aisles upon aisles of pens, with tester paper and one tester of almost every single pen available for purchase. Some $10+ pens may not have had testers, but I’d say 90% or more were available. I could easily spend an hour there, which isn’t a good idea, since a purchase of any size will only validate one hour of parking. But I digress. I realize I don't know much about different types of pens as I should, so I need to do some research and find out more about them, especially considering how many pens I have. And NOT believe stupid buttery reviews just because I can't seem to find a wealth of pen reviews outside of Amazon. They have to be out there somewhere. Just not at www.jetpens.com