Slump

My decluttering has taken a sour turn. I can’t evaluate things purely on their ability to spark joy. I keep thinking about how big the keep pile already is, and whether or not I have enough room for anything else. Or I think how it was buried and I hadn’t been appreciating it lately, therefore I don’t deserve to enjoy it, or how someone else should be able to enjoy it more than me. Or even worse, I feel guilty having spent money on these things in the first place, that I don’t feel like I deserve to have anything enjoyable. Perhaps the pure joy items haven’t truly left, but a lot of happy things feel like they have been chucked out the window. I guess things can’t spark joy if you feel guilty about having them, but it doesn’t necessarily feel better getting rid of them either. Nothing you can’t live without, but you still hate getting rid of, and things that creep into your thoughts days later, wondering why it would have been so evil to keep. I’ve already wasted the money at this point. It’s not as bad as wanting to buy new junk, is it? Yet it feels evil of me to want to keep things. I feel like I would trapped either way. Though at this point I‘m just sighing dolefully and telling myself I have to get rid of stuff. Like that’s my punishment for not being more responsible in the first place.