Leg & Foot Pain Everywhere

No, not really in that much pain. This is my progress update. Right foot is hurting pretty good again, but not quite as bad as it was initially. Left leg can straighten out better now, but burns if I stretch it. Not that nice comfortable feel, but not quite the burning sensation I had when they worked me too hard in the first place. Sort of in-between. Wondering if I would be better off getting a different PT referral. Just don’t have a great feeling about this place.

Physical Therapy Idiots

I know getting into shape isn’t always easy and can sometimes be quite painful. Usually physical therapy is a bit more gradual and less painful. That is, I normally don’t go in and have searing pain during the exercises they demand I keep doing, and wind up being sore for close to a week.

The problem is we’ve only been working on one foot/ankle/leg, and then they decided to throw in an exercise using both, and my other leg was not up to the challenge. Is this another ploy to get more visits out of a person? Let’s put you in extra pain, even if we don’t outright injure you, and then make you think we’re the only people who can get you back to square one, even though we’ve already used (and thus wasted) several of your visits. The owners/management of this business keep sending out stupid e-mails about how much they care and if there’s any little thing that you’re concerned about to please contact them. I don’t want to ruin a person’s employment, but the one guy ignore me so much while he socializes with the others, he doesn’t seem to want to be there. I have been patient, but he doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing in the first place. Maybe he needs more training or supervision. I don’t want to be the guinea pig where he ignores me half the time, can’t figure out what his directions are, and then tells me to do things that I can’t because he doesn’t have the equipment set up correctly, or he’s holding a resistance band, but with no resistance, because he’s too busy trying to talk to the more seasoned and muscular guys there. Maybe if this wasn’t going to cost me a couple thousand dollars I’d be more patient. But when I can give you a laundry list of what he did wrong after every visit, and on top of that, puts me in so much pain because he thinks it’s good . . . I’m not a body builder. And I’m pretty sure body builders don’t progress well if they’re in so much pain they can’t move either. Duh. So that’s how physical therapy is going. Aren’t you glad you asked.

Physical Therapy Gold-diggers

I like the idea of physical therapy in general. Slow careful recovery versus trying to do too much too fast. Exercises that build up slowly, vs. say, the ones I did this summer that surprisingly put me in ridiculous pain.

Here’s my beef with some physical therapist situations. I’ve heard on more than one occasion that they really milk the process to get more money. Require visits more frequently than necessary, or drag the process out longer than the person’s situation needs. Let’s face it; they’ve got a lot of control how fast you can recover if they won’t help you and you legitimately need their help, like for the physical manipulation and massage (that you can’t figure out how to do yourself). I used to show up for an initial visit, and yes, they do assess and take measurements, but then they get down to business. The one I went to this time did measurements and spent the rest of the time explaining the process and basically their business model, and how everyone, no matter what is wrong with them, will require at least 20 visits to get better with lasting results. I can see not rushing the process or getting overly optimistic that once things feel better you’re done and don’t need any followup. But at some point it feels like they’re over-doing it, and the point is they want financial security.

I went to one guy who was nice enough, and maye not over-doing it, but basically talked to me as if I was his therapist, whining a lot about money. He didn’t make enough working under someone else, so he started his own business. Fair enough. But he made comments like the only good patients people want are the ones who’ve had surgery because they need more visits, and people with lesser issues can drop earlier and then he’s scrambling fore more business. He complained about the cost of laundry (towels used for heat/ice packs) and his minimum water bill being too high even if he hardly used any water. So you hear things in general, and stuff like this, and when they seem too clingly that you absolutely HAVE to show up 3x a week even though all you’re doing is exercises that you could do at home and they ignore you the rest of the time because you do know what you’re doing . . . you start to wonder.

So the first vist was not actual physical therapy, even though they charge it as such. The issue is a lot of people only have x many visits their insurance covers, so it does seem wasteful to spend one on them showing up just to measure and leave. I’ve heard lots of complaints like this, so I know it’s not an isolated practice. Someone’s in the hospital, the PT shows up to introduce themselves, asks if they have any questions, and says they’ll come up with a plan/strategy for next time. But they waste a whole PT session. It’s annoying. The the patient’s side of the financial thing. Even if we’re not penny-pinchers, we’re paying x amount per visit, and to be required to have 20 vists, say, times $30-40 a visit , that’s a sizeable investment of $600-800. Again, if you’ve had a serious injury or surgery, you may well need this. But if you’ve got a smaller tweak or sprain and you bounce back well, some honest therapists would agree you don’t absolutely need that many visits, especially if you’ve got a solid exercise plan in place and are diligent in completing, to continue strength and stability. You don’t need someone to babysit you doing exercises in a corner that don’t require specialized equipment. My PT referral suggested 2 vists a week for 2-4 weeks. While that might have been on the low side, 8 weeks of 2-3x a week is twice as much, and they state this is the set amount for everyone, without even knowing what’s wrong with them. So you can see why I am given to wonder.

Waiting for Physical Therapy (Foot Pain Continued)

Foot pain got bad enough that I stopped doing the exercises until I get physical therapy. Maybe I’m not doing them precisely right. I got a referral; now waiting for the appointment. It got bad enough that I wans’t sleeping well and it didn’t make sense anymore since it was making it so much worse. In the meantime I got a couple different compression sleeves, gel heel cushions, gernic diclofenac gel, and re-useable elastic bandage wraps. I’m not doing any walking, which sucks. I will be so out of shape when I finally get back to walking. The other day I running errands was painful enough and limping/overcompensating probably isn’t a good idea either. Who knows how painful PT will be. They usually know what they’re doing and massage, ice or give instructions how to keep discomfort reasonable. But who knows.

Mattresses

You know the story of the Princess and the Pea? I’m starting to wonder if the pea was kind of besides the point. That the other point of the story is that some princesses want that much cushy bedding in the first place. We bought a crappy yet expensive mattress a couple of years ago and my spouse has pointed out that our health may be more important than toughing it out even though this mattress seems almost indestructible and may last quite a while.

Been looking online at several options, mainly trying to avoid pushy sales people. Against all reasoning, we stopped by a store Thanksgiving Weekend to see what was available in real life (we were in the area doing something else). Some of the online places have trial periods, but we don’t have a lot of room to keep the mattress from hell as a spare in case we nee to return an online purchase and don’t want to sleep on the floor. Unfortunately one of the main reasons we stuck with the mattress from hell was because we got rid of the horribly worn out predecessor and couldn’t logistically return it fast enough. That, and we foolishly thought maybe it would somehow break in after more time (trial periods were shorter then). It’s been years, and that thing is not breaking in.

Back to the in-store adventure. The sales guy was nicer than I ever could have expected. Previous experiences involved people telling me what I needed despite my telling them that’s not what I wanted. Or the vultures, such as in car dealerships. This time, no one pounced; we eventually asked if someone was available, and he simply pointed us towards options based on our questions and reactions. What a concept. Since we weren’t seriously considering buything anything, tried to ask vague questions about materials and layers in case such properties might be compared to other mattresses. And since we weren’t really considering, also pretended we didn’t have a price-range in mind. Maybe it was good practice for a poker face when we found my ideal mattress included a poofy mattress topper sold separately that cost twice as much as our previous expensive mattress. Even if we only got a half size topper for my side of the bed. Only princesses can afford that price of sleeping luxery. See, at least some of the online mattresses have warranties for 15, 20 years, or even “lifetime.” This one somehow charged an extra $100+ just for the 10 year and had a shorter trial period. Again, learning from our previous experience, the showroom model was great. Exactly what we wanted. But the one that arrived was not. Even though the showroom model was only 2 months old, they assured us it only needed a little longer to break in (and that’s what we were hoping anyway, since we would othertise be stuck without anything to sleep on but the floor). So all I’m saying is you’ve got to jump up and down on the mattress hoping to break it in sooner than later so you know if you really want it since half the time you have it is breaking it in, and this store’s trial wasn’t especially long (3 months). Then the cost per year, assuming it only lasts 10 years . . . I guess it was nice to dream.

Unwanted Mail

I am really getting tired of mail from the hospital. It’s not bills, so you’d think hey, it’s not that bad. It’s merely summaries of visits, notices of upcoming visits . . . It’s the fact that it keeps reminding me of the whole mini-drama. Painful biopsy and waiting to see if I had cancer. Being told no, then, wait, uhm, well, it’s not exactly malignant, but it’s abnormal and kind of worrisome . . . saying I need surgery, no wait, insurance won’t pay for surgery whether I wanted it or not . . . Just the whole ordeal. We need imaging, we need more imaging, no, imaging was a waste, lets do this instead . . .

I have to remind myself how lucky I am. I don’t have cancer; I don’t need chemotherapy or radiation; nor do I have thousands of dollars to pay the hospital. I just don’t like the recurrant reminders of the situation. Here’s a notice that you need to schedule this. Here’s a confirmation that you have scheduled this. Here’s a summary of the services you received. Here’s yet another letter recommending something else. I have an appointment at the high risk cancer center next month. Yes, I know I do, thank you for another reminder. Thank you for telling me you did not receive medical records from the surigical consult and then saying never mind, you don’t need them.

It’s all completely inoccuous, but at the time time generally unhappy reminders. It's fine. I just wanted to express this somewhere.

Flipping Fasciitis Foot Pain

My foot pain started probably late August, where I thought maybe the cushioning in my shoes had finally worn out and I needed a new pair. This did not help. Both my feet hurt the entire length whenever I walked. They felt as if they were tired and sore, as if I’d already walked way too much and they were sore and tired. On a bad day, they would still hurt at night and I couldn’t even let them brush against each other because the sides of my feet hurt.

Doc says sounds like plantar faciitis, and gave some stretches. Interesting, the back of my left knee hurts now, but foot feels better. Right foot is tons worse and my arch is noticeably flat on this foot. What the? So I’m looking up more exercises, stretches, videos, etc while I’m in so much pain I can’t sleep, and it’s not as if I’m walking more than I absolutely must, because it hurts so much. The classic PF is supposed to be super bad in the morning and slowly stretch out as you use it. Or it gets worse the longer you sit, so sometimes during the day it’ll hurt on the first couple of steps. Nope, not me. I am limping, hobbling , and wincing in pain every single step. After a few steps I can stop the hobble, but the pain doesn’t subside.

No idea what podiatrist to go to or look for. In theory they usually prescribe physical therapy anyway, and that’s why I’m looking for those exercises online while I try to figure out what to do. Besides, even if I find a foot doc, work requires 2 weeks notice to take any time off, including for appointments like this.

In desperation I ordered some compression socks online that should be here late Friday or Saturday. No idea if that will work, but I’m starting to go out of my mind. Tons of braces, compression sleeves, socks, etc, so I finally stabbed at one that wasn’t too expensive and looked good. In the meantime I wrapped it with self-adhesive which helps a little, but also adheres to everything else, so who knows how much sock lint it will have on it at the end of the day.

I know; I’m whining. Sorry, that’s what one sometimes uses a blog for. Frustrated and in pain and no idea what doc to get or product to buy that will work. Already sick of seeing videos that warn you against what you saw in the other video, etc, etc. My doc recommended at least 4 stretches, so it encompasses both sides. Only thing I can’t do well is the one on stairs. I live on the second floor. I don’t really want to stand backwards at the top of the stairs, or get dressed and shoes on to walk down to the bottom of the stairs several times a day while the neighbors watch and wonder what the heck is wrong with me. Darn it all, why did I get ride of those exercise steps, just because I didn’t use them for over 15 years? Could use them right now.

Shopping Trip

I’ve been looking for those semi-wimpy weights a while now, and somehow stumbled upon a coupon for Dick’s Sporting Goods. I felt like an intruder both entering and exiting the store, half expecting someone to ask if I was lost. Though not my ideal adjustable solution, I did manage to get 2 four-pound dumells to fill in that gap I needed. I have 5 pounders, but I’m not yet ready to do a full minute flapping my arms in little cirles holding my 5 pound weights. Still working with the unknown and probably “vintage” variety I stumbled upon a few weeks ago. Guessing those are somehwere around 1.5-2 pounds. 3 pounds would have been silly to invest in. I could’ve passed these up as well, but 2 little dumbells with the textured coating for for 10 bucks wasn’t too bad. Probably still need the adjustable ones for ankle weights at some point, but those were considerably more at Dick’s than online.

Still, I felt like I should be ashamed, checking out, as if I needed to give the cashier an explanation of my wimply purchase. Like I needed to explain the above situation to them, why I was purchasing such a tiny weight. They were nice of course, and probably didn’t think anything of it. After all, my size probably suggests they might have been surprised that I could hold both in one hand.

The good news is I already have 5, 8, 10, 12, and 15 pound weights at home from my younger years. They’ve been put to odd strategic uses, like anchoring a scratching post from moving around. Maybe when I advance up that far, I can use a pile of the tinier weights to take that place. I realize a bunch of varied weights isn’t as svelte as the adjustable ones, but I also don’t have the cash to drop on say, an adjustable kettlebell that goes from 8-140 pounds. And then all you have is a kettlebell, and not all those other types of weights. These will do me just fine for a while, I think.

I also need to figure out the whole exercise band thing. There are sets with multiple bands for 20-35-ish online, but I’m not sure what exercises to do with them. The nice thing is that you can use multiple bands at a time, so (assuming they don’t break right away, as some reviews suggest) you can have a pretty good weight spread as you get more in shape. I also love the idea that they’re not super heavy so one could use those while traveling and they’d be small and light enough to not be a huge extra. Oh well. One thing at a time.

How often should one be hungry?

Last week I continued to increase my fruits and vegetables. Of note were bananas, blueberries, broccoli, and pumpkin soup. I couldn’t decide on any one soup recipe so after googling common ingredients, I ad-libbed my own. I used a relatively low amount of coconut milk and no other dairy or fatty ingredients to make it creamy and thick. It was delicious and I had a ton of it for and with meals. Despite this, my weight loss was pretty minimal. I cut out all desserts (except occasional low-fat popcorn) and we didn’t eat out at all. Kept up my exercising, though admittedly I “should” do more.

They say if you’re on track, losing 1-2% of your total body weight a week is a good goal. When most people start out, they generally lose a little more the first couple weeks, which can kick-start motivation. I'm jealous. Like yeah, I’m on the right track. Even though I can’t expect a huge loss every week, this is a nice boost to keep going. 1 percent is .01. I lost .001 or a tenth of 1%. Yay. I’m sitting here half hungry most of the time while my spouse scarfs down aromatic junk food and multiple desserts, wondering when this is going to kick in.

That’s the other eye-rolling item. Years ago on one of the several WW programs I participated in, they had their hunger levels and dicated that one should be “a bit hungry” most of the time. Seriously? Most of the time you’re walking around hungry and not allowed to do anything but think about food? Yeah, that’s gonna end well. I’m currently on this idea of eating lunch & dinner since I’m not starving when I wake up. The idea is you shouldn’t eat unless you’re actually hungry. So today for lunch I ate celery, blueberries, and a cup of low-ish calorie popcorn. The rest of the afternoon I drink as much water as possible bemoaning that it’s normal to be “a bit hungry” most of the time, especially since I’m not hungry enough for a big meal (again, from the people who brough us don’t eat breakfast unless you’re hungry for a big meal). Yeah, I feel “a bit” deprived and irritated because I’m not losing much. Oh well. Just had to whine a little.

CIS

The following is my satire on trying to understand medical terminology. It is in no way intended to make light of, or offend those with serious medical conditions, especially cancer.


You have the opportunity to learn new things every day. Here is my expression of my experience attempting to understand CIS, or Carcinoma in Situ.

I will lump myself along with most people’s basic understanding of the term carcinoma – bad. Carcinoma generally means cancer. While not all cancer is terminal, there is a pretty scary overall connotation of the word. I mean, nothing good generally comes from it, right?

I listen to Kids Place Live, a children’s radio station. Recently one of their hosts, Absolutely Mindy, expressed that she had finished up a round of chemo, and as always, tried to explain the idea of cancer in a friendly accessible and not-so-scary way to her listeners. She said cancer is when the cells in your body go all bonker-balls and form gangs and attack the other cells in your body. Sounds like a good basic description. Let’s build off that.

The first thing they try to tell you when you get test results is that CIS is not really cancer; it is benign. Ok, that sounds better, but how exactly does this work?

I conducted several web searches for the meaning of “in situ.” The jist I got was that it’s something that has remained in its place of origin. That does contradict Cancer.org’s definition that “Cancer is a disease in which some of the body’s cells grow uncontrollably and spread to other parts of the body.“ Ok, good, it’s something odd, but it’s not out of control. That should help us feel a bit better. Maybe? From numerous other searches, what I gleaned is it’s cells that look like cancer, but don’t act like cancer. Still sounds a bit apprehensive, but ok. Something looks a bit wonky, but it’s not bonker-balls out of control yet.

With my various trepidtations and ups and downs with this news, along with my twisted sense of humor, I cam up with this anaology. Carcinoma in situ: cancer at home.

Instead of forming gangs and attackinig the neighborhood, it’s just haning out at home, maybe reading a good book by the fireplace and taking it easy. It looks like cancer, but so far it’s keeping the peace, staying put, and not causing problems. Something to keep an eye on, for sure, but that’s probably where the analogy should end. Otherwise we start talking about privacy invation and stereotypes just because someone looks like they shouldn’t be in the neighborhood and I’m pretty sure we should go there.

The sucky thing is that in the meantime, searching carcinoma in situ (as recommended by the health provider) you get results anywhere from saying it's stage 0 cancer and should be treated immediately while it is still curable, to eh, don't do anything but wait and watch. These are only websites that are supposed to be fairly reputable. WebMD, Mayo Clinic, various hospitals and cancer intitute. Whatever. Wait. Check back in a few months. Try not to worry (yeah right).

Eating More Plants - Hoorah!

Last week I succeeded eating more “plants” than usual. Granted, my main staples were bananas, potatoes, and broccoli. This is where anyone reading slaps their forehead that I made such poor choices. Bananas have so much sugar, and potatoes are startchy.. Well, sure, but that’s still better than I have been eating overall. An entire banana is two servings, so one could argue that one can easily “overeat.” Whatever. That just means I got more servings in. I think the real culprit for potatoes is the stuff people put ON them. I had boiled potatoes with spices and minimal toppings to keep them moist or a little more flavor. Potatoes are still better than white rice or pasta, so there. I am down a few pounds since the beginningof the month. I’m still paranoid every day I step on the scale it might go back up, so that helps keep me a bit motivated.

Taking a small step is better than attempting all-or-nothing and then giving up as soon as one makes a tiny less than perfect choice. It feels more sustainable than being motivated by fear. I didn’t write about the fear motivation idea. Rently had some iffy test results and healthcare providers reminded me that at least 40% of all cancers are preventable by diet and a reasonable weight. Fine, so if I succumb later it’s all my fault. Great feeling. Eat better or get cancer. Not that anyone makes it out of this life alive. Being told one has a 200+% chance of getting cancer can be quite the attention-getter. Feels like even if I don’t have it now, it’s only a matter of time wating for it to drop. What can I do in the meantime besides fret? Lose weight, eat more plants, all that good stuff. Chemoprevention too, but we’ll get to that later.

Various Weight Loss Ideas

The dude that mentioned 600 calories of pureed chicken & coffee said a couple other interesting things, like how broccoli is super filling, so I ventured to ask him a tiny bit more, only on the off chance of something that sounded more paletable to me. He did not. Among other things, one should never exercise more than 40 minutes at one time, and multiple exercise sessions must be no less than 6 hours apart. This was in response to the question is it ok to have a 15 min walk here and there, like on breaks. I’m happy this system works for him, but hard pass from me. I have enough healthcare professionals saying walk, no don’t walk, do strength-training, no, avoid it at all costs and only do walking. Eat yogurt – no, dairy is not needed. Eat ¾ of your food as fruits and vegetables. No, eat at least half calories from lean meat. My point here is only to say that I give up. I try to have a semi-open mind to some of these thigns, like I said, in case there are hidden gems. Like broccoli is very filling. That’s good to know. I like cucumbers, but I swear, every time I have one, I’m hungrier than I was beforehand. So hey, broccoli probably is pretty filling. But all these extreme this and that and nothing you do is right . . . I give up. Get the weight off as quickly as possible – diet now, eat normal the rest of your life; it’ll somehow work out. Gastric surgery is the only way to go. Slow steady lifestyle changes are the way to go. Anythng else is dangerous. I agree with some things, and I don’t on others, and I shouldn’t get on a soapbox of which things strike a chord to me. I just think it’s sad there are so many vastly different “healthy” ideas by professionals, as to destroy all trust in anything and make one feel like they have to test it out and figure it out for themselves. One plan probably does not fit all; even flexible ones. I’m the only one who’s got to live with me and my quality of life due to my weight. I know what foods I can tolerate and which I’d seriously rather avoid and substitute. I cannot let these guest lecturers live inside my head making me feel guilty and awful about myself no matter what choice I make. My surgeon has a website with several life-style changes they advocate, and I’ve read and will seriously consider all that I am able to. To a point. Let’s just say their ideas were a little less extreme and probably in the right direction. And attempting a direction still counts; even if I am not 100% successful following every single item every day. I tend to gravitate in all-or-nothing perfectionism and it gets discouraging. 80% on track, or even starting out 50% in a new direction, can still be positive change. I don’t have to do this overnight. That’s just me.

All Ailments Caused by Being Overweight

Anyone else had these lectures? If you just lose weight, it will all go away. Uh huh. I had no idea they’d even blame poor vision on weight. By now it’s too late for me on that one. I know weight doen’t help, and probably does exacerbate things, but . . . then there’s the issue with how quickly one should lose weight and what one should do in the meantime if one has a lot of weight to lose.

Talked to a gentleman at work today who is becoming a certified nutritionist and advocates eating 600 calories a day living off coffee, protein powder, and pureed chicken. Said load up on celery and you’ll never have to exercise. Not that he indulges in celery, personally. He said a lot of interesting things that I’m not sure I’m ready to buy into. I do resist celery because it seems bitter to me. But his take was that you only have to suffer for a shorter amount of time and then go back to eating whatever. Not sure I buy into that either, as I’ve always been taught the slow and steady lifestyle changes, but whatever.

I know I need to get healthier, but I really wish there was a better way of motivating myself instead of fear. Fear of this, that . . . the newest one is cancer. You're going to get cancer because 40% of cancer incidences are caused by being overweight and no doctors want to treat you when you brought it on yourself and it’s all your fault. Yeah, that’s a fun thought to carry around all day. Even if it’s true or partially so, is that the ideal way to make yourself afraid to eat anything questionable?

I’m not a coffee person, but I suppose I could do shakes for a while. I was always under the impression quick fixes like that weren’t good for you and wasn’t the point because you’re not going to stay on them forever. As soon as you stop, the weight comes back anyway. But if it’s “lose weight or die” and if you’re at fault, I guess you can say a certain amount of suffering is earned or somehow necessary for penance.

I know, eat to live, not live to eat. Maybe the idea is if you deprive yourself of desirable food for long enough you will forget you miss it and never want it again. I’m sure one’s tastebuds adapt to a certain point but . . . coffee and pureed chicken, huh? Eeek.