Last piece of oversized clothing, very delayed from Amazon.com finally arrived but was the wrong size. Frick. Too late to order another. This is why I mock "prime" 2-day shipping. Depends on who is shipping it, how long they take, and any "oops" they make like "we're sorry, your shipment was supposed to arrive today, it hasn't left yet, and will be another two weeks).
On a good note, got a couple appropriate post-surgery shirts and they kinda fit. Very soft and stretchy, so they're not uncomfortable, even though they're not exactly flattering either. The point is based on the size description, I thought no way, but upon reading the size guide, I thought, well, maybe . . . I will still need help getting them on and off for a while. Ugh. At least it's something.
If all else fails, and I don't need to go anywhere, I can rock the Greek toga look. Wear a sheet or towel. I'll be sleeping or resting a lot the first couple days anyway, right? Need to learn to roll with things.
A movie my spouse likes to watch, especially when not feeling well is The Martian, where an astronaut is stranded on Mars. At the end he comments on space travel: things will go wrong. You have to work the problem. And then the next problem. You solve enough problems, and you get to come home. Not a bad mind-set. Work the problem. Find a different angle. Don't get in a rut of dismay when the easiest option fails.
Tuesday, March 25, 2025
Monday, March 24, 2025
Specialized Post-Op Clothing
Got a call with my pre-surgery instructions from the hospital. While I appreciate the call so one can ask questions, they rattled some things off so quickly, I think a short written summary might also be helpful. Especially for anyone older or so freaking anxious they can't think straight.
2 days before surgery is not ideal notice to tell people that they need specialized clothing to bring to surgery. Seriously. Especially if you don’t fit standard sizes. Is it reasonable to expect everyone has Amazon Prime, or is willing to pay for express shipping for these things? It would have been nice to know a little more in advance. I’d seen a youtube video where the person sewed her own, and that’s great. I had no idea if I’d need those types of shirts in the first place. I’ve been e-mailing the CMT there frequently with questions. It’s sad no one thought to bring this up before. I can't sew, but even if I called in a favor for someone I know, or try to recruit a friend of a friend, this is incredibly short notice. Hey friend, you want to drop everything you're doing and sew a couple shirts that I need in two days flat? You don't have a life or plans or anything, right?
Basically sounds like they put the sling on you directly after surgery without clothes, and you’re not allowed to use any clothing unless you have the special ones that open on the side, that allow you to keep your sling on, and stationary the entire time. Ok. Still would have been nice to know that ahead of time.
2 days before surgery is not ideal notice to tell people that they need specialized clothing to bring to surgery. Seriously. Especially if you don’t fit standard sizes. Is it reasonable to expect everyone has Amazon Prime, or is willing to pay for express shipping for these things? It would have been nice to know a little more in advance. I’d seen a youtube video where the person sewed her own, and that’s great. I had no idea if I’d need those types of shirts in the first place. I’ve been e-mailing the CMT there frequently with questions. It’s sad no one thought to bring this up before. I can't sew, but even if I called in a favor for someone I know, or try to recruit a friend of a friend, this is incredibly short notice. Hey friend, you want to drop everything you're doing and sew a couple shirts that I need in two days flat? You don't have a life or plans or anything, right?
Basically sounds like they put the sling on you directly after surgery without clothes, and you’re not allowed to use any clothing unless you have the special ones that open on the side, that allow you to keep your sling on, and stationary the entire time. Ok. Still would have been nice to know that ahead of time.
Friday, March 21, 2025
Crap is Getting Real
Picked up the arm sling today. Freaking big piece of hardware. It’s an immobilization sling (I think?) – not just a supportive wimpy thing. Velcro straps around the arm, shoulder/neck and waist. Big ol’ “bolster” cushion supposedly optional and mainly for comfort. It has a photo how it should look when put on correctly, and it looks completely wrong compared to the videos I’ve watched. We're talkng the ones from doctors and orthopaedic clinics. I had heard/read the hand should be in line with, or above the elbow, so blood doesn’t pool in the hand. In the photo, it’s more like 110 degree angle instead of 90 degrees, and looks like gravity would let the arm slide right out. Ok, let’s just let the arm flop there below the waist. According to the directions, it’s supposed to tie the belt part around your waste. Uhm, ok. If I were to do that, I would be seriously bent over, trying to get my elboe and arm down to it. The elbow is supposed to fit neatly in the corner, or else it’s not correctly supported. If it’s absolutely supposed to be around the waste, I have to either I can double over or I can gently rest my arm on top of the sling (not inside). I shouldn’t stress over those details so much, but it’s annoying not knowing. I'm getting better though. I'm not completely freaking out right now. At first I researched all that stuff because I was paranoid that if it wasn't precisely in the right spot, it wouldn't heal correctly.
If they tell me how it works the day of, right before surgery, I’ll be too nervous to concentrate. If they tell me afterwards, I’ll be so loopy I won’t remember. And I might accuse my spouse for not paying close enough attention later if we have differing recollections.
Saw another patient picking up their brace at the office, and she advised one will wake up with the sling already on. Uhm, ok, so do they dress you first? Or do you go home in a hospital gown draped over you? I wondered if there’s preferable clothing to dress in, or bring with you. Heard I need to wait patiently for the hospital to call with instructions a day or two before.
The patient I ran into today said she heard button-up shirts are the way to go. I have a couple button-up shirts if needed. They make little button-assist tools. It still doesn’t answer the question how they want you to put on clothing – clench your arm against your side, or let it dangle, or prop it up on a table next to you.
Ugh. Previously, a person at the doctor’s office advised I would get all the important instructions for sling use at the first post-op visit. My first post-op is 10 days later. You’re going to give me instructions how to use the sling then? I get it if I can’t take a full shower until then, but it might be nice to know if I can change clothing in the first 10 days. If they do allow sort of shower, which of the methods they’d like me to use. The only thing they said was to not get the incision wet. They even said a lot of their patients find food wrap sucessful. That's nice, but what do they recommend doing with the arm during a shower? Do I keep the sling on? (probably not) Do I take the sling off, keep my arm in the same position and clutch my opposite side? Or do I let it dangle and flop around? I have a shower sling, but it doesn’t keep things very stable, and slides around my neck (I’ve tried it out). Holding my hand up in the brace position sounds like it might get tiring. Yet allowing it to dangle loosely, I’m afraid I might try to raise or move my arm out of habit (and haziness - not sure how much pain and/or painkillers I’ll be experiencing during the first week).
I guess all I need to know is to show up at the designated time with the brace, a down-payment for surger.y
If they tell me how it works the day of, right before surgery, I’ll be too nervous to concentrate. If they tell me afterwards, I’ll be so loopy I won’t remember. And I might accuse my spouse for not paying close enough attention later if we have differing recollections.
Saw another patient picking up their brace at the office, and she advised one will wake up with the sling already on. Uhm, ok, so do they dress you first? Or do you go home in a hospital gown draped over you? I wondered if there’s preferable clothing to dress in, or bring with you. Heard I need to wait patiently for the hospital to call with instructions a day or two before.
The patient I ran into today said she heard button-up shirts are the way to go. I have a couple button-up shirts if needed. They make little button-assist tools. It still doesn’t answer the question how they want you to put on clothing – clench your arm against your side, or let it dangle, or prop it up on a table next to you.
Ugh. Previously, a person at the doctor’s office advised I would get all the important instructions for sling use at the first post-op visit. My first post-op is 10 days later. You’re going to give me instructions how to use the sling then? I get it if I can’t take a full shower until then, but it might be nice to know if I can change clothing in the first 10 days. If they do allow sort of shower, which of the methods they’d like me to use. The only thing they said was to not get the incision wet. They even said a lot of their patients find food wrap sucessful. That's nice, but what do they recommend doing with the arm during a shower? Do I keep the sling on? (probably not) Do I take the sling off, keep my arm in the same position and clutch my opposite side? Or do I let it dangle and flop around? I have a shower sling, but it doesn’t keep things very stable, and slides around my neck (I’ve tried it out). Holding my hand up in the brace position sounds like it might get tiring. Yet allowing it to dangle loosely, I’m afraid I might try to raise or move my arm out of habit (and haziness - not sure how much pain and/or painkillers I’ll be experiencing during the first week).
I guess all I need to know is to show up at the designated time with the brace, a down-payment for surger.y
Thursday, March 20, 2025
One Week Until Rotator Cuff Surgery
Well, rotator cuff and bicep repair surgery one week from today. Can’t think of much else to do. Expecting one more package to arrive, but otherwise, all set. Ha. What that really means is we’ll figure out all we didn’t think of later when we get to it. There are lots of products out there to make one-hand life easier, but some of them are a bit more spendy, and since this is a temporary situation, we should be ok.
Getting my hair cut super short this weekend. Might as well. I don’t want to have to deal with it more than I have to, with one arm/hand.
You’d think reading might be a good activity while I’m recovering, but I’m not sure how to prop open books so I can read easily. Haven’t even gotten the official sling, so I have no idea how bulky or where that will occupy space. If I’m achy at all, I have no doubt I might use that as an excuse to watch movies instead. First week I’m not planning on doing much besides home PT exercises. Know someone who had similar surgery at the same place and their nerve block took 3 days to wear off. We’ll see what happens.
I'm a lot less nervous this time (so far) even though I'm pretty sure recovery is going to be so much worse this time.
Getting my hair cut super short this weekend. Might as well. I don’t want to have to deal with it more than I have to, with one arm/hand.
You’d think reading might be a good activity while I’m recovering, but I’m not sure how to prop open books so I can read easily. Haven’t even gotten the official sling, so I have no idea how bulky or where that will occupy space. If I’m achy at all, I have no doubt I might use that as an excuse to watch movies instead. First week I’m not planning on doing much besides home PT exercises. Know someone who had similar surgery at the same place and their nerve block took 3 days to wear off. We’ll see what happens.
I'm a lot less nervous this time (so far) even though I'm pretty sure recovery is going to be so much worse this time.
Tuesday, March 18, 2025
9 Days Until Rotator Cuff Repair
My latest pessimism. I saw some of quotes how you can accomplish nearly anything as long as you believe you can – the mind over body idea. What is that all encompassing one? The body can achieve what the mind can believe? Right now I feel humph, yeah right. I would have been happy to mentally command my shoulder to heal on its own. As wonderful as the mind is, there are limits here. Same with faith and prayers to be healed (let's not go too far into that).
I wish I will my opposite shoulder to be healthy as well. The more I practiced doing certain tasks one-handed, the more I experienced sharp pains that don’t completely go away. Lately I find it difficult to find a comfortable sleeping position that avoids pain on both arm/shoulders at the same time. I’m wondering if it’s in my best interest to have my spouse help me with most things after surgery so I don’t continue to make it worse. All those videos show and encourage a person to be as self sufficient as possible. Generally sound advice. But what if I’m wreaking havoc on my other joints?
I can’t have multiple surgeries this year. #1, I can’t afford to take that much time off (sure, I wish I had 12 weeks PTO saved up). #2 cumulative medical expenses if multiple surgeries. Don’t even go there. #3 If it takes 6 months to get back the use of one arm, I’d barely be able to function with the recovery arm and then fix the other? Doesn’t sound like a good idea.
I hope the opposite arm isn’t damaged to the point it requires drastic intervention. But what do I know? What can I do to prevent it getting worse? Or promote healing to the extent that it can? I’ve taken several breaks (days at a time) when it hurts, and tell myself I’ve practiced enough; I need to take it easy. Then I try one little thing, and bam – stabbing pain. I have now stopped any practice/prep. We'll figure it out after surgery.
Sure, I can mentally tell myself that my tendons can self-heal and be happy, flexible and strong. But if it doesn't work, do we really need to feel mentally weak and incompetent as well as physically? This is where I've seen the lack of faith accusations as well. Sure, let's kick a person while they're down. Tell them if only they had sufficient faith they would be healed without modern medicinal intervention. (Can you hear me growling at that idea?)
That's enough commentary on that. Icicng the "healthy" shoudler. Not sure how to elevate (more than it is) or put compression on it. Those general RICE recommendations: Rest, Ice. Compression, and eventually exercise. Focusing on rest and ice for the next few days while I can. Wish me luck.
I wish I will my opposite shoulder to be healthy as well. The more I practiced doing certain tasks one-handed, the more I experienced sharp pains that don’t completely go away. Lately I find it difficult to find a comfortable sleeping position that avoids pain on both arm/shoulders at the same time. I’m wondering if it’s in my best interest to have my spouse help me with most things after surgery so I don’t continue to make it worse. All those videos show and encourage a person to be as self sufficient as possible. Generally sound advice. But what if I’m wreaking havoc on my other joints?
I can’t have multiple surgeries this year. #1, I can’t afford to take that much time off (sure, I wish I had 12 weeks PTO saved up). #2 cumulative medical expenses if multiple surgeries. Don’t even go there. #3 If it takes 6 months to get back the use of one arm, I’d barely be able to function with the recovery arm and then fix the other? Doesn’t sound like a good idea.
I hope the opposite arm isn’t damaged to the point it requires drastic intervention. But what do I know? What can I do to prevent it getting worse? Or promote healing to the extent that it can? I’ve taken several breaks (days at a time) when it hurts, and tell myself I’ve practiced enough; I need to take it easy. Then I try one little thing, and bam – stabbing pain. I have now stopped any practice/prep. We'll figure it out after surgery.
Sure, I can mentally tell myself that my tendons can self-heal and be happy, flexible and strong. But if it doesn't work, do we really need to feel mentally weak and incompetent as well as physically? This is where I've seen the lack of faith accusations as well. Sure, let's kick a person while they're down. Tell them if only they had sufficient faith they would be healed without modern medicinal intervention. (Can you hear me growling at that idea?)
That's enough commentary on that. Icicng the "healthy" shoudler. Not sure how to elevate (more than it is) or put compression on it. Those general RICE recommendations: Rest, Ice. Compression, and eventually exercise. Focusing on rest and ice for the next few days while I can. Wish me luck.
Saturday, March 15, 2025
~2 weeks until Rotator Cuff Surgery
Improvements. Finally got time off work approved. Good thing I still have some vacation time.
Bought some bigger clothes (casual lounge-wear). Universal recommendation is to get big/baggy clothing so it’s easier to get on and off. Even got a couple pairs of front-closure bras for when my shoulder is somewhat healed. I watched and the videos and tried the supposedly easy methods to either front or back closure brans on with one hand. Suffice it to say my spouse is going to be dong that part for me for 6 weeks, and then we'll see. Front will be easier at some point, and I'll have to go out in public eventually (mainly physical therapy).
Another widely recommended tip is to use pump bottles whenever possible for soap, shampoo, lotion, etc. Everything I have is either a bar, flip, or screw-top. Somewhat recently found fantastic bar shampoo and conditioner. Nertz can't use that for a while. Probably. Oh well. Got a couple hopefully fun soap scents that weren't too expensive. Pretty sure it's going to dry my skin out. Figured at least if it doesn't smell bad, might be more sufferable. I'm not normally a poofy loofah person, but the handle around one's wrist suddenly makes perfect sense when you only have one arm and don't want to drop things.
Not sure what else to do. Aside from the painful stretches they gave me to keep my range of motion up. Nasty stuff. The word "excruiating" comes to mind, but they're not as bad once the stretch is released. Problem is if one gets frozen shoulder, due to lack of use, recovery could increase from 6-12 months, to 2 1/2+ years. Interesting how perspective makes it more bearable. It's already torn, and they're going to repair it, so what's the biggie if it's slightly more torn for them to fix?
No NSAIDS/anti-inflammatory remedies starting Monday. I started reducing the amount I take and was unpleasantly surprised how much pain I was in. Bringing out the topicals: bio-freeze, salonpas, Deep Blue, whatever can take the edge off. Looking into topical lidocane too. I know they normally don't smell great. The price you pay for relief. Someone clearly went to a lot of effort on the one product I saw labeled "fruity." Uhm, ok. Good luck with that one.
Bought some bigger clothes (casual lounge-wear). Universal recommendation is to get big/baggy clothing so it’s easier to get on and off. Even got a couple pairs of front-closure bras for when my shoulder is somewhat healed. I watched and the videos and tried the supposedly easy methods to either front or back closure brans on with one hand. Suffice it to say my spouse is going to be dong that part for me for 6 weeks, and then we'll see. Front will be easier at some point, and I'll have to go out in public eventually (mainly physical therapy).
Another widely recommended tip is to use pump bottles whenever possible for soap, shampoo, lotion, etc. Everything I have is either a bar, flip, or screw-top. Somewhat recently found fantastic bar shampoo and conditioner. Nertz can't use that for a while. Probably. Oh well. Got a couple hopefully fun soap scents that weren't too expensive. Pretty sure it's going to dry my skin out. Figured at least if it doesn't smell bad, might be more sufferable. I'm not normally a poofy loofah person, but the handle around one's wrist suddenly makes perfect sense when you only have one arm and don't want to drop things.
Not sure what else to do. Aside from the painful stretches they gave me to keep my range of motion up. Nasty stuff. The word "excruiating" comes to mind, but they're not as bad once the stretch is released. Problem is if one gets frozen shoulder, due to lack of use, recovery could increase from 6-12 months, to 2 1/2+ years. Interesting how perspective makes it more bearable. It's already torn, and they're going to repair it, so what's the biggie if it's slightly more torn for them to fix?
No NSAIDS/anti-inflammatory remedies starting Monday. I started reducing the amount I take and was unpleasantly surprised how much pain I was in. Bringing out the topicals: bio-freeze, salonpas, Deep Blue, whatever can take the edge off. Looking into topical lidocane too. I know they normally don't smell great. The price you pay for relief. Someone clearly went to a lot of effort on the one product I saw labeled "fruity." Uhm, ok. Good luck with that one.
Thursday, March 6, 2025
Surgery Paperwork Stress
Maybe I'm programmed incorrectly, that I will always find something to stress about. This week's stress is over taking time off work.
Initially the doctor’s office said plan to take 6-12 weeks off work. Sounds good. 6 weeks non-negotiable will be confined to a sling. My job is typing for speed, so that’s not going to happen.
Earlier this week the office (finally) got around to completing the paperwork required for me to take time off. They suggested I would only need 2-3 weeks. Ahem. At 2 weeks, I wonder if I’ll still be icing and moping around in pain a lot. I won’t be able to drive, type, and at that point who knows how well I’ll even be at hygiene and getting dressed (thus staying home and moping). I asked them to please check with the surgeon, as this was quite a bit less than previously estimated. They said fine, they’ll submit for 6 weeks. (sigh)
Then they complete the paperwork (due Tuesday, this is pushing it), provided me with a copy and it said 10 days off work. What the ?? I contacted them and politely asked to help me understand where this was coming from. Initial response was “oh, that’s to let work know that I might need to take time off intermittently to go to follow-up appointments or physical therapy. Uhm, ok, that’s not very clear the way it reads . . . They made a comment how this is how they fill it out for people who can’t work more than 3 days in a row. Great. Open it up for them that I could potentially work Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, have Wednesday off, and finish up the week Thursday, Friday. You can’t open the window like that for some places. Don’t give them any ideas implying I can be back to work after 10 days if that’s not what you mean. I’m already freaking out about pain and the arduous recovery proces . . . let's please not add this on top.
Initially the doctor’s office said plan to take 6-12 weeks off work. Sounds good. 6 weeks non-negotiable will be confined to a sling. My job is typing for speed, so that’s not going to happen.
Earlier this week the office (finally) got around to completing the paperwork required for me to take time off. They suggested I would only need 2-3 weeks. Ahem. At 2 weeks, I wonder if I’ll still be icing and moping around in pain a lot. I won’t be able to drive, type, and at that point who knows how well I’ll even be at hygiene and getting dressed (thus staying home and moping). I asked them to please check with the surgeon, as this was quite a bit less than previously estimated. They said fine, they’ll submit for 6 weeks. (sigh)
Then they complete the paperwork (due Tuesday, this is pushing it), provided me with a copy and it said 10 days off work. What the ?? I contacted them and politely asked to help me understand where this was coming from. Initial response was “oh, that’s to let work know that I might need to take time off intermittently to go to follow-up appointments or physical therapy. Uhm, ok, that’s not very clear the way it reads . . . They made a comment how this is how they fill it out for people who can’t work more than 3 days in a row. Great. Open it up for them that I could potentially work Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, have Wednesday off, and finish up the week Thursday, Friday. You can’t open the window like that for some places. Don’t give them any ideas implying I can be back to work after 10 days if that’s not what you mean. I’m already freaking out about pain and the arduous recovery proces . . . let's please not add this on top.
Wednesday, February 26, 2025
Stamina
Sure, my left arm and hand are weaker and out of practice. Beyond muscle and fine motor skill though, requires stamina. It's not that everything requires a ton of strength, but it takes forever to get through it, and then you go on to the next thing. Or you will once you have surgery. Seems unanimously recommended to get a shower chair because even though your shoulder has nothing to do with standing, you'll be so freaking tired. If you go with the recommended detachable shower head, you have to use your hand and arm almost all the time. You have to use your arm the entire time to wet, soap, rinse, the entire time. You can't simply stand there to rinse. It’s not that you’ve never used your opposite hand/arm before, but you’re going to be using it constantly. From one frustrating or tiring task to the next.
It’s mentally exhausting more than you’d think, too. It gets better, but for a while, glack.
Unfortunately I practiced so much with the left hand/arm the last few days, that shoulder now hurts too. I give up. For now.
It’s mentally exhausting more than you’d think, too. It gets better, but for a while, glack.
Unfortunately I practiced so much with the left hand/arm the last few days, that shoulder now hurts too. I give up. For now.
Monday, February 24, 2025
Lighter On-line Window Shopping
I took a break from perusing practical convenience/helper items, and looked at silly tshirts that say something like “I survived surgery” or “I’m sorry for what I said during physical therapy" or "recovery mode: On." Cute idea, but not very practable to read them if one has a big sling across your abdomen for 6 weeks. Oh well. It was an amusing respite.
I have compiled a list of recommended items, but really only got a few so far. My spouse's co-worker recommended tank-tops. Got a couple oversized tanks, and some super baggy lose pants, as oversized is your friend in one-handed world. Although people swear by the shower chair and wedge pillows, holding off on those for now. I have Amazon Prime, for supposedly faster shipping in case I decide I need them after all (don't get me started about the free 6-month Prime account they offered me pre-COVID. 3 month shipping for some items. Oye.)
I have compiled a list of recommended items, but really only got a few so far. My spouse's co-worker recommended tank-tops. Got a couple oversized tanks, and some super baggy lose pants, as oversized is your friend in one-handed world. Although people swear by the shower chair and wedge pillows, holding off on those for now. I have Amazon Prime, for supposedly faster shipping in case I decide I need them after all (don't get me started about the free 6-month Prime account they offered me pre-COVID. 3 month shipping for some items. Oye.)
Friday, February 21, 2025
Shoulder Considerations and Preparation
Wow, there’s a lot I need to do prior to this surgery. Luckily I’ve been made aware of some things to buy or practice, but wow, there’s a lot.
Thank goodness for you-tube. Found some videos that demonstrate how to get dressed and undressed, and yes, bathroom considerations of all kinds. For example bar soaps might slip out of ones hand, whereas pump dispensers are easier.
Sounds like I might want to get a sling to practice with, since it can be recommended to have a spare one anyway. It’s one thing to practice only using your other hand/arm, but to keep your surgical arm where it needs to be, not lose one’s balance, sounds like it’s a bit tougher than I might anticipate. Practicing opening medicine bottles. How short should I get my hair cut this time? Hair washing for 3+ months one arm may get tiring pretty quick.
Still re-calibrating my head to accept that this surgery will be so much worse than last year’s. Last year's major surgery involved removal and shuffling of internal organs, but it wasn’t that bad, all things considered with. I felt considerably better after 3 weeks, and had no restrictions at 6 weeks. This one we’re looking at 6 weeks in a sling, 6 months of physical therapy, and hoping pain subsides by 9-12 months later. Yikes.
Thank goodness for you-tube. Found some videos that demonstrate how to get dressed and undressed, and yes, bathroom considerations of all kinds. For example bar soaps might slip out of ones hand, whereas pump dispensers are easier.
Sounds like I might want to get a sling to practice with, since it can be recommended to have a spare one anyway. It’s one thing to practice only using your other hand/arm, but to keep your surgical arm where it needs to be, not lose one’s balance, sounds like it’s a bit tougher than I might anticipate. Practicing opening medicine bottles. How short should I get my hair cut this time? Hair washing for 3+ months one arm may get tiring pretty quick.
Still re-calibrating my head to accept that this surgery will be so much worse than last year’s. Last year's major surgery involved removal and shuffling of internal organs, but it wasn’t that bad, all things considered with. I felt considerably better after 3 weeks, and had no restrictions at 6 weeks. This one we’re looking at 6 weeks in a sling, 6 months of physical therapy, and hoping pain subsides by 9-12 months later. Yikes.
Wednesday, February 19, 2025
Who's Ready for Shoulder Surgery
Interesting how helpful it is to keep digital records. In addition to the blog, I journal both on a computer and on paper. I like physical paper writing, but the Ctrl-F function is priceless. I did a search for the world “shoulder” and the first mention I found was March 28, 2024. Whined a lot more about it in my personal journal than on-line. I can’t recall exactly what exercises I did, but I have some suspicions. We got a new mattress around the same time though, and I attempted to rationalize away that maybe I slept on my side wrong or was acclimatizing to the new mattress. I did the exact same exercises on each arm, so it didn’t make sense to me that only one hurt. I should have gone to a doc sooner, but I doubt it would’ve helped. My knee was so much worse, that was my main concern at the time. Since I couldn’t pin-point an exact injury or event, they probably still would have dismissed it as mild inflammation. Based on how much my knee was down-played, as my shoulder got worse, I thought, well, they probably won’t do anything about that either, so why bother?
Anyway, shoulder specialist confirmed my rotator cuff is badly torn, one part “hanging on by a thread” and my bicep is also torn and in need of repair. My theory is that I tore it a little at first, and then gradually tore it more and more as I continued to exercise the rest of the year. Yes it kept hurting, but whenever I did ask, they said do exercises and it’ll be fine. Throw more nsaids at it, and it’ll be fine. Maybe I need to get my pcp to prescribe high-dose prescription nsaids every couple of months, and that’s fine too. Nope, it was not fine. I could have said sure, it was from an injury, but I wouldn’t have know what to tell them I did that caused it. in hindsight maybe I could’ve said I did so many different exercises that day, I wasn’t sure which one it was. I’m not a good creative liar, I guess. Or didn’t think I could pull one over on this. But in hindsight, maybe that would’ve been interesting to try. Oh well.
This surgery is scheduled for March 27. Here’s the sucky part. I won’t be able to do anything with that arm (or hand, probably) for 6 weeks, which includes typing or writing. Even now, typing hurts, and they said if it irritates things, I might need to lay off typing for 12 weeks initially to prevent a slower overall recovery. I could try hunt and peck with my non-dominant hand, but that would probably drive me nuts (compared to easily typing 50+ wpm). I have a talk-to-text app on the phone, but it doesn’t do punctuation, so that still seems tedious to add (when I do use it). I will need physical therapy rehab for at least 6 months. Whoa. Already this seems so much worse than last year’s, even though that was classified as “major” surgery and made some top lists for how painful it is. That sounds like a cake-walk compared to this. 6-12 weeks being one-handed and half a year of rehab. Plus my insurance isn’t as good this year, so it’s likely going to be more costly.
In the meantime, they gave me some stretches for range of motion I can practice now to get in the best shape possible before the knife hits. (kidding. I am not a fan of any surgery and joke about being sliced open, even if it’s minimally invasive).
My knee physical therapist said with this development, he’d release me from weekly visits if I promised to keep up the exercises as much as possible. This way we save as many visits as possible, given that insurance has maximum visits they will cover. I won’t be able to continue some of the knee-related exercises after the surgery, as they involve laying on my bad arm. At least I have a good PT to work with, as they said I could ask for them again for my shoulder rehab. It’s gonna be a long year.
On a bright note we finally have central heat again after a month. It sounds like high pressure air being pumped into a bouncy-house, after the relatively quiet space heater.
Anyway, shoulder specialist confirmed my rotator cuff is badly torn, one part “hanging on by a thread” and my bicep is also torn and in need of repair. My theory is that I tore it a little at first, and then gradually tore it more and more as I continued to exercise the rest of the year. Yes it kept hurting, but whenever I did ask, they said do exercises and it’ll be fine. Throw more nsaids at it, and it’ll be fine. Maybe I need to get my pcp to prescribe high-dose prescription nsaids every couple of months, and that’s fine too. Nope, it was not fine. I could have said sure, it was from an injury, but I wouldn’t have know what to tell them I did that caused it. in hindsight maybe I could’ve said I did so many different exercises that day, I wasn’t sure which one it was. I’m not a good creative liar, I guess. Or didn’t think I could pull one over on this. But in hindsight, maybe that would’ve been interesting to try. Oh well.
This surgery is scheduled for March 27. Here’s the sucky part. I won’t be able to do anything with that arm (or hand, probably) for 6 weeks, which includes typing or writing. Even now, typing hurts, and they said if it irritates things, I might need to lay off typing for 12 weeks initially to prevent a slower overall recovery. I could try hunt and peck with my non-dominant hand, but that would probably drive me nuts (compared to easily typing 50+ wpm). I have a talk-to-text app on the phone, but it doesn’t do punctuation, so that still seems tedious to add (when I do use it). I will need physical therapy rehab for at least 6 months. Whoa. Already this seems so much worse than last year’s, even though that was classified as “major” surgery and made some top lists for how painful it is. That sounds like a cake-walk compared to this. 6-12 weeks being one-handed and half a year of rehab. Plus my insurance isn’t as good this year, so it’s likely going to be more costly.
In the meantime, they gave me some stretches for range of motion I can practice now to get in the best shape possible before the knife hits. (kidding. I am not a fan of any surgery and joke about being sliced open, even if it’s minimally invasive).
My knee physical therapist said with this development, he’d release me from weekly visits if I promised to keep up the exercises as much as possible. This way we save as many visits as possible, given that insurance has maximum visits they will cover. I won’t be able to continue some of the knee-related exercises after the surgery, as they involve laying on my bad arm. At least I have a good PT to work with, as they said I could ask for them again for my shoulder rehab. It’s gonna be a long year.
On a bright note we finally have central heat again after a month. It sounds like high pressure air being pumped into a bouncy-house, after the relatively quiet space heater.
Saturday, February 15, 2025
Anger & Fear Lead to the Dark Side
I should apologize for all my negativity lately. I yelled at the rental management agency here instead of real life in order to blow off steam. I realize directing open hatred towards them in real life wouldn’t accomplish anything.
A chunk of the rest, I think, has been driven by fear. I feel like I must be so delicate lately, is any or everything going to permanently damage me? Even if we get my shoulder fixed, that’s still going to be a lingering question. Previous PT experience for my feet; I felt like they were always saying buck up, doesn’t matter that things hurt. I figured I’m getting older, maybe I am more sensitive to pain and my body isn’t as tough as it used to be, but I needed to push through it. Now it seems pushing has torn up my knee and my shoulder. Not even doing strenuous exercises. What the heck. I used to mentally roll my eyes at health care providers who said I could strength exercises without weights because even one pound is very heavy. Whatever. I figured they must get a lot of patients that are elderly and about to break. I didn’t think I had already become one of those people.
I realize I’m thinking a few steps ahead, but how the heck do I know what pain is good or bad anymore? Exercises after surgery always hurt, and I’m sure it’s normal. Not everything is going to be sunshine and daisies. But it frightens me that my body seem so feeble that stretching can snap tendons or ligaments completely through. I thought I had built up gradually enough – took over a year to work up to 10 pounds, and even then, barely felt comfortable moving up from 8 pound weights. Meanwhile I read or get advice that I’m still going too slowly, or I need to do more, faster, harder . . . I guess I have hard evidence now to tell such people to back off. Right now my shoulder is in pain even when resting. That scares me. It hurts more with the slightest expenditure of effort, such as typing or picking up a pen. The rate that it’s gone downhill in the last month scares me. If you wonder why I don’t slap more pain meds/patches/creams on it, sometimes I’m afraid covering up the pain will only allow me to accidentally injure it more quickly, because I don’t feel how much it’s hurting. So I wait until evening to throw pain meds on it so I can sleep. Otherwise when I take things throughout the day, and it still hurts so much, I can’t take more. Not being able to do anything but wait doesn’t help my anxiety. The whole thing is a crappy situation.
I'm praticing using my opposite hand and arm more. Used a knife and didn't cut myself. Not ready to write or mouse with my opposite hand yet.
Trying to eat healhy but I'm hungry a lot, despite getting more protein.
A chunk of the rest, I think, has been driven by fear. I feel like I must be so delicate lately, is any or everything going to permanently damage me? Even if we get my shoulder fixed, that’s still going to be a lingering question. Previous PT experience for my feet; I felt like they were always saying buck up, doesn’t matter that things hurt. I figured I’m getting older, maybe I am more sensitive to pain and my body isn’t as tough as it used to be, but I needed to push through it. Now it seems pushing has torn up my knee and my shoulder. Not even doing strenuous exercises. What the heck. I used to mentally roll my eyes at health care providers who said I could strength exercises without weights because even one pound is very heavy. Whatever. I figured they must get a lot of patients that are elderly and about to break. I didn’t think I had already become one of those people.
I realize I’m thinking a few steps ahead, but how the heck do I know what pain is good or bad anymore? Exercises after surgery always hurt, and I’m sure it’s normal. Not everything is going to be sunshine and daisies. But it frightens me that my body seem so feeble that stretching can snap tendons or ligaments completely through. I thought I had built up gradually enough – took over a year to work up to 10 pounds, and even then, barely felt comfortable moving up from 8 pound weights. Meanwhile I read or get advice that I’m still going too slowly, or I need to do more, faster, harder . . . I guess I have hard evidence now to tell such people to back off. Right now my shoulder is in pain even when resting. That scares me. It hurts more with the slightest expenditure of effort, such as typing or picking up a pen. The rate that it’s gone downhill in the last month scares me. If you wonder why I don’t slap more pain meds/patches/creams on it, sometimes I’m afraid covering up the pain will only allow me to accidentally injure it more quickly, because I don’t feel how much it’s hurting. So I wait until evening to throw pain meds on it so I can sleep. Otherwise when I take things throughout the day, and it still hurts so much, I can’t take more. Not being able to do anything but wait doesn’t help my anxiety. The whole thing is a crappy situation.
I'm praticing using my opposite hand and arm more. Used a knife and didn't cut myself. Not ready to write or mouse with my opposite hand yet.
Trying to eat healhy but I'm hungry a lot, despite getting more protein.
Tuesday, February 11, 2025
Still waiting for MRI shoulder followup
Started practicing using my non-dominant hand, in case I do need surgery. Not much else I can do while I wait to find the prognosis. It’s interesting how many things become awkward. I can eat, brush my teeth ok. Opening a door that seems designed to open with the opposite hand is weird. Door opening is the type of thing one can usually navigate either way. But if you only had one hand to use . . . I usually give up and use the arm that makes sense with the way the door is angled, because it doesn’t seem worth the trouble.
Went out of town for holiday and my exercises went out the window. I did them at first, but my hip got so tight . . . . I tried to do the stretches alone 2-3 times a day and couldn’t loosen things up. it was painful enough I thought, I’m on vacation, I’m supposed to be having a good time, to heck with this. The other challenge is that the stretch involves using my bad arm/shoulder. My knee is already torn completely through. It might not make a huge difference if I delay PT exercises. There might still be hope for my shoulder. After my trip I started up knee exercises again slowly, but I’m not going to over-do it. Would rather wait a bit to meet with the shoulder expert. Then they might be able to confirm exactly what movements will or will not create more damage. Almost all of the exercised I’d been given previously hurt, but they always say yeah, it’s still good for you. Now that we have more detailed MRI imaging, and multiple tears, I’d like to confirm what’s ok.
Went out of town for holiday and my exercises went out the window. I did them at first, but my hip got so tight . . . . I tried to do the stretches alone 2-3 times a day and couldn’t loosen things up. it was painful enough I thought, I’m on vacation, I’m supposed to be having a good time, to heck with this. The other challenge is that the stretch involves using my bad arm/shoulder. My knee is already torn completely through. It might not make a huge difference if I delay PT exercises. There might still be hope for my shoulder. After my trip I started up knee exercises again slowly, but I’m not going to over-do it. Would rather wait a bit to meet with the shoulder expert. Then they might be able to confirm exactly what movements will or will not create more damage. Almost all of the exercised I’d been given previously hurt, but they always say yeah, it’s still good for you. Now that we have more detailed MRI imaging, and multiple tears, I’d like to confirm what’s ok.
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