So Sore

A lot has happened in the last 24 hours. Still trying to wrap my head around it. Did I mention I’ve been so antsy not knowing what I’m allowed to do or not do? You’re supposed to have a post-op visit at 6 weeks where they tell you that you can take the sling off or reduce using it, and further instructions. They didn’t think to schedule this when we scheduled surgery, so they could not get me in until end of week 9. I’ve e-mailed the surgeon’s medical assistant scads of times, and asked my physical therapists what they think I can probably safely do . . . but I didn’t really know, so I’d go bath and forth between daring to do something and then stressing that maybe I wasn’t supposed to do it. Things that are bad for you don’t necessarily hurt. More often than not, I erred on the side of caution and the most “active” things I did were in PT sessions. I recall one video experience I watched where the person said it was 6 weeks in the sling, 6 weeks getting used to gravity, so for all I knew, I was just supposed to lt the arm lay there most of the time. After all, I do NOT want to mess this up after all the pain I've been through

I finally get a surgical follow-up appointment and he gives such parameters that I’m aghast. He says go ahead and do this or that, and I leave the appointment pretty much dazed. I feel like we barely started phase 2 of recovery in PT – active motion (vs passive) and suddenly he says in certain positions I can go ahead and lift up to 2-5 pounds. What?? I’d been told no more than 1 pound, so my mouth is gaping. Maybe it was 1 pound at the 6 weeks mark. How'd it jump to 2-5? I would not even dare pick up my water container, because when it’s full, it’s nearly 2 pounds.

Now, before you think I’m careless, I did not go home and start weight lifting with glee. But I did start reaching out a little bit more. Usually I pick something light up with my left had, even say, a fork, and then give it to my right hand to hold onto, while holding my elbow firmly against my body. With permission, I now reached out a little bit for that kind of light object. I didn’t stretch out all the way – baby steps. I’d reach a couple inches further than I normally would to pick up a pen, or a napkin. I brushed my teeth with my dominant/operative hand for the first time since surgery (oooh, aaah).

And what happens next? I get so sore I can hardly stand it. Not the little kind of sore from a challenging work-out. We're talking every fiber of your arm and shoulder that is not bone, feels like it' been soaked in extra-strength soreness. After all, it's been mostly dormant for almost 2 months. I'm not sure one can fully comprehend this kind of soreness if you have not had sad innocent muscles atrophy like that.

Luckily they gave me a prescription for lidocaine patches. Otcs laughed in the face of that intense soreness. I was eventually able to sleep. Hooray. You’re only supposed to use them for 12 hours. I’m afraid to take it off. How bad it will feel again. I’ve mentioned I’m not a good example, right? I’m way too honest. Besides, my injury and surgery was relatively minor. I'm a wimp, so I'm sure I've made it sound worse. The printed info he gave me said in some cases one could be out of their sling and driving after a week. That was not my case. But it still sounds so bizarre . . .

Physical Therapy Overload, 60 Days Post-Op

Officially on PT overload. I worked with a different therapist he other day. I have seen them off-and on when my primary PT isn't available - they are great. Some exercises I only do at appointments, vs. assigned ones I do both at visits and at home. Sometimes one works up to doing the exercises daily, usually 2x daily, 30 reps. Anyway, I've been asking for a band to practice some of the exercises, even if I'm not "required" to do them at home. This alternate therapist finally gave me a band to take home. Yay.

Usually I can remember all the different exercises, but I think I'm going to have to start writing them down to make sure I don't leave any out. Example: simple idea of doing shrugs and shoulder rolls. I'd forgotten about that. Maybe one doesn’t need to do 30, 2x a day, but once in a while would be a good idea.

I sat down and starting counting how many optional home exercises I have, and good grief! I have 7 assigned ones – non negotiable, that I need to do 30 repetitions, 2x a day. Some of these are slow and require a 3-5 second hold or stretch. It’s not as if one can do 30 reps in a minute. Add this to the 10 additional optional exercises. Half of them, I truly should do at least 20+ reps 2x a day. Holy cow! I don’t need any additional fitness exercise regimen. This isn't even counting the exercises I am supposed to do for my knees. Some of those fell by the way-size because #1 they involved laying on my side (not gonna happen until my arm is healed) or #2 made my hip so tense, and I can’t use my arms to assist the stretch they showed me to alleviate that. The knee exercises I need to do the rest of my life. Shoulder ones, hopefully not, but could reasonably expect another 4-6 months, or who knows. I saw something the otherday claiming rotator cuff surgery recovery could be 6-14 months. Glack.

I have to return back to work in-person in a couple of weeks, so I won’t be able to sneak in a set of 10 reps of this or that once in a while. I will also have great difficulty icing if I do get inflamed and painful. The surgeon's office recommended frequent breaks to ice, when I started working again. I was told if I did that, I would not be working full-time, and that would be a head-ache of paperwork proving inability to work FT. I finally negotiated taking a couple of smaller breaks. It works out ok since I've been working from home and the ice packs are right there. I still have to hunch in order to balance the ice on my shoulder if working at the same time. Velcro-straps excist, but it's harder to tack those down than you expect, if you only have one usable arm. I could bring ice packs to work, but they clear out the fridge/freezer daily. If I bring “real” re-useable icepacks, I’d have to truck those to and from work all the time. I was already thinking I might need a little wagon to simply carry my drinks and lunch. The doors are still too heavy for me to pull with my operative hand. I would need to set my bag and drink down, open the door, gather my things with one hand . . . I'm not looking forward to it. If we were to add a couple of 2-pound re-usable ice packs on top of that to my items to carry in . . . I may need a little red wagon to truck everything in.

Also when returning to the office: I’ll have to get up – what, about an hour earlier, to get as much PT done as I can? It's 2x a day, and I feel pretty awful in the morning if I don't do it. Without tacking on the last 10 exercises, I’ve noted that 30 minutes early is not enough to get everything done. (thus occasionally sneaking in a few reps at the same time as getting a glass of water or such).

Pulling myself out of a Funk

Finally pulling myself out of the funk of the last few days (possibly the last week).

It helped that I had a new toy to play with today – my dream computer keyboard. I am not a gamer, but I am picky on keyboards and type relatively fast. Or, I used to. #1 obstacle is muscle weakness after shoulder surgery. Seriously, it doesn’t matter how much you squeeze that ball that comes with the sling – your whole arem and hand get weak and atrophied. #2, I have the cheapest stiff keyboard from work. My job is to type quickly all day long. Why not allow a person to have a better keyboard? This is the argument I would make if I thought I could convince them to pay for this keyboard at work. I doubt it would fly. Especially since I discovered my ideal keyboard is a gaming one. Sorry for all gamers out there who might think it’s sacrilege for a non-gamer to own one. Despite my muscle weakness, I still can type pretty fast if I’m not fighting a crappy keyboard, pounding the clunky keys into submission. The fun backlighting wass a plus as well.

Ahem. Back to shoulder recovery. I think the lesson is to hang in there and do the work even when it sucks and it’s boring and doesn’t feel like it’s getting any better. Sure, it’s normal to get tired of the drudgery, or feel discouraged. But dang, shoulder surgery recovery is nasty. The amount of pain, the amount of time being in that much pain . . . arduous does not seem like a strong enough word. It can get flat-out exhausting at times. Fight to survive and endure another day. And get ice packs. Lots, and lots of ice packs. Had no idea I'd still be icing so much 8+ weeks after surgery. Icing my opposite non-operative shoulder as well, as iritated as it's gotten, still doing all the work. I think today is day 59. Day 1 is the first day after surgery.

Angry Muscles (Rotator Cuff Surgery Recovery)

Every once in a while I have a day that kicks pain up a few notches more than expected, and I feel terrible. This is one of those days. Started light strength exercise in physical therapy yesterday. I was tired and sore at the time, but waking up . . . Brought on those thoughts of why the heck did I even have surgery? What was I thinking? Oh yeah. I thought I was in pain and this would be a good solution. Boy was I an idiot. I had no idea what real pain was.

Last night I used the sling temporarily, to see if it would help my arm/shoulder rest. It didn’t help, so I gave up. I used my early morning pre-work time to ice instead of starting PT. I often regret it if I don’t get a complete set of PT done pre-work, so this is a big deal. I snuck in little sets of 5 or 10 of an exercise as often as I could throughout the day. It hurts to even raise my forearm from hanging down to the right angle (former sling position). Let alone holding anything (I'm allowed up to 1 pound). I refrained from messaging my physical therapist that my arm hated him today. Idk how many nerve endings are in those muscles, but I swear they all feel irritated and aggitated, having woken up after all this time in dormancy.

Eventually forced myself to complete every single rep of assigned exercises. I barely eeked out a couple optional exercises. Usually I do a slew of extra exercises even if they're not officially assigned. If we've done them in a PT session, I figure it wouldn't hurt to do a few every day at home. Used the cheap Frisbee I got yesterday, for one maneuver (it's the right size) and used my new pulley to get my arm up behind my back. Didn’t do much, and but I tried.

PT - Active Movement

Not sure if I'll have the patience/motivation to go through and insert posts for the last few weeks. Suffice it to say rotator cuff repair was the most painful thing I've ever experienced and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Even typing takes a stupid amount of effort at this stage. Currently 5 weeks 5 days since surgery.

Did first active exercises with my arm at the end of PT today. Slowly lifted arm straight out in front of me. Did so in front of a mirror to make sure I didn’t cheat by scrunching my shoulder up at the time time. Not sure why my collarbone/clavicle area feels tired and overused. Anyway, discussed this is NOT one I should cheat by doing at home all the time. I tend to try to do at least a few exercises here and there that I learn, even if they’re not daily assigned ones. Technically I’m not really supposed to do any active movements and stay sling-bound at least 6 weeks. Longest 6 weeks ever. Cannot emphasize how arduous it is only having one hand/arm for that long. 6 more weeks before I can hold or lift anything above one pound. This includes using more than that much effort to say, open heavy doors, open bottles/jars, etc. I’m not even mousing with my dominant hand yet. In order to type I am supposed to use my other hand to lift my hand up to the appropriate position on the keyboard. No mousing or 10-key.

I return to work next week. 4 people have quit in the last 6 weeks, and we’re already understaffed. No way I’m going to volunteer for OT. Not even sure how well I’ll be able to adjust to typing all day with the current strength. Have to re-arrange my WFH area so I can type with my arms in my lap or supported by pillows. Fun stuff.

Add tired-ness readjusting to FT work, lots of PT multiple times a day, not sure how regularly I’ll want to post here either. We’ll see.