You ever get up and try to convince yourself to have a gung-ho positive attitude against your usual disposition? I tried to think of a good mantra-ish statement like “every day is a new day” and my twisted mind remolded it into: you’re alive whether you want to be or not. Might as well try to make it the least amount of miserable you can. That’s what happens when you’re not a morning person.
The orthopedic appointment wasn’t that bad, all things considered. In short, no surgery can fix anything. Whenever I need surgery, it’ll be a full knee replacement, and we’re not there yet. The tendon is completely separated and there’s no fixing it. It’s completely useless. First option will be go back to PT (pain and torture) and strengthen all the supporting muscles to reduce pain and suffering. Next option if/when it gets super bad is cortisone injections, which usually calm things downhopefully for 6+ months. The more injections you get, the less effective they eventually become. They also offer PRP – platelet rich plasma injections, though insurance doesn’t cover that, so it’d be on my own bill. They believe there’s decent evidence it can promote healing (of whatever is left) and provide relief up to a year.
On a good note, they said there are no activities I need to avoid based on this evidence. Listen to the pain and take it easy and use home remedies as needed (rest, ice, wrap, whatever). I don’t have to be paranoid that doing something I don’t perceive as painful will cause more irreparable damage that I have no idea I’m causing. Hey, maybe I can get in super duper shape and go hiking again. They didn’t say I couldn’t. Several years ago when someone first diagnosed me with arthritis, they said stay away from hiking and inclines. While I wasn’t in great shape then either, that took away a lot of possible motivation. I’m not a runner; never will be. But I could convince myself to hike up the incline and sweat and toil away knowing it builds muscles and endurance for hiking, which I loved. Come on, people, you have to give me incentive of something. The idea: "maybe you won’t be as painful and miserable someday" doesn’t cut it for me. Well, not 10 years ago, anyway. Today might be a different story. That’s how we arrived at the mantra to make one’s existence the least amount of miserable as possible. Wow, how my dreams have changed, huh.
Saturday, November 16, 2024
Thursday, November 7, 2024
Knee Surgical Consult Reserved
PCP (primary care provider) advised the MRI results are such that natural healing through conservative methods (rest, ice, compression, physical therapy) are less likely. The good news is that the orthopedic surgeon can get me in next week. Yay. Can’t wait to see the look on my work-place manager’s face if I have to have another surgery, even if it’s a minor one. And who knows, maybe they’ll recommend to try and exhaust conservative methods first to be absolutely sure. it still creeps me out a little that who knows what state one’s tendons are in unless one gets an MRI, which is super expensive. I mean, what if we try PT and a few months from now, it’s better, but not great. How do you guess at what condition the tendons are in at that point without another MRI?
It’s a bit irritating and unfortunate how long it took to figure this out. Trying not to hate or resent all the previous providers, but it’s a yucky situation. The most helpful one thought I merely needed to be put on strong prescription anti-inflammatories every couple of months to reduce sweelling and call it good. They never entertained the idea it could be anything worse than healthy, strong, tendons getting inflamed from time to time. Now I’m envisioning them torn, chewed, and possibly semi-mangled and, well, yuck. I do have a chronic inflammatory “disease” so I get it, but . . . Is it because I’m so fat and this type of tendon damage is usually from athletic sports injuries? Not hating on them, but good grief it took a while to get here. Even my insurance would probably have rejected an MRI request earlier in the year without proof of a traumatic injury.
Will try to focus on the idea that hard word towards losing weight WILL come eventually. It’s been so slow, and so arduous the past few months. As I mentioned, all things considered, even with a supposed “significant” weight loss so far, I don’t feel much better than before. I have to force myself to believe that even if it’s seriously delayed, and I don’t see the payback yet, that it will come someday. I realize it’s not immediate or dramatic, but oye, it’s been tough to hang in there. You get to the point you start to think eh, what does it matter if I eat this or that? I feel semi-cruddy either way. Why bother?
It’s a bit irritating and unfortunate how long it took to figure this out. Trying not to hate or resent all the previous providers, but it’s a yucky situation. The most helpful one thought I merely needed to be put on strong prescription anti-inflammatories every couple of months to reduce sweelling and call it good. They never entertained the idea it could be anything worse than healthy, strong, tendons getting inflamed from time to time. Now I’m envisioning them torn, chewed, and possibly semi-mangled and, well, yuck. I do have a chronic inflammatory “disease” so I get it, but . . . Is it because I’m so fat and this type of tendon damage is usually from athletic sports injuries? Not hating on them, but good grief it took a while to get here. Even my insurance would probably have rejected an MRI request earlier in the year without proof of a traumatic injury.
Will try to focus on the idea that hard word towards losing weight WILL come eventually. It’s been so slow, and so arduous the past few months. As I mentioned, all things considered, even with a supposed “significant” weight loss so far, I don’t feel much better than before. I have to force myself to believe that even if it’s seriously delayed, and I don’t see the payback yet, that it will come someday. I realize it’s not immediate or dramatic, but oye, it’s been tough to hang in there. You get to the point you start to think eh, what does it matter if I eat this or that? I feel semi-cruddy either way. Why bother?
Friday, November 1, 2024
Knee MRI
Got MRI results for my knee; sounds like multiple “complex” tendon tears everywhere. At least, sounds bad. No idea, since I don’t have access to a real doc for another 2 months to interpret the clinical terminology and tell me what to do next. Sad thing is my knee is actually feeling and looking a lot better. How bad was it earlier this year? Has it healed a bit since then, or is it worse from not getting any treatment? How much can tendons heal by themselves? No idea.
General web recommendations are RICE: rest, ice (and elevate), compression, exercise. I can tell you it’s hard to ice and elevate it several times a day, so that’s not gonna happen easily. Maybe beginning and end of the work day, and right before bed? Tried to figure out how to ice and/or elevate it at work before, and propping my foot up on my trash receptacle only made it feel worse b/c it was jammed at a bad angle. I got some ice-packs in anticipation of my surgery. Maybe I can lash them to my knee, but have a feeling it’s not gonna be very comfortable either (gee, isn’t cutting off circulation bad?).
Compression – I did use a compression sleeve earlier this year, but after the steroid rx, it feels worse to use it. We’re talking pain after putting it on, and a lot more pain after taking it off, vs. no or very little pain all day long. It’s not merely pain at the end of a day, not having the helper compression sleeve on. More like pain all night long after using it.
Exercise. Usually after the appropriate time of rest and ice. But what exercise can I do or what is going to make it worse? My PCP isn’t available for two months. I can try to get digital images and take them to a walk-in place. They are probably going to get sick of me.
General web recommendations are RICE: rest, ice (and elevate), compression, exercise. I can tell you it’s hard to ice and elevate it several times a day, so that’s not gonna happen easily. Maybe beginning and end of the work day, and right before bed? Tried to figure out how to ice and/or elevate it at work before, and propping my foot up on my trash receptacle only made it feel worse b/c it was jammed at a bad angle. I got some ice-packs in anticipation of my surgery. Maybe I can lash them to my knee, but have a feeling it’s not gonna be very comfortable either (gee, isn’t cutting off circulation bad?).
Compression – I did use a compression sleeve earlier this year, but after the steroid rx, it feels worse to use it. We’re talking pain after putting it on, and a lot more pain after taking it off, vs. no or very little pain all day long. It’s not merely pain at the end of a day, not having the helper compression sleeve on. More like pain all night long after using it.
Exercise. Usually after the appropriate time of rest and ice. But what exercise can I do or what is going to make it worse? My PCP isn’t available for two months. I can try to get digital images and take them to a walk-in place. They are probably going to get sick of me.
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